15 Reasons You Should Shower in the Morning
Brianna17_92 serves up a noble rebuttal to Dan Bergstein's recent post—and we love a good shower-related controversy! —Sparkitors
Due to a recent post by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, us morning showerers feel the need to defend ourselves. Here are 15 reasons you should take a glorious shower in the A.M., rather than an awful one at night.
1. It’s the ultimate excuse for the avid procrastinator. You say you'll take a shower in the morning so you can go to bed earlier—which makes you feel good, even if you wind up going to bed late, oversleeping, and skipping the shower completely.
2. It's much easier to style your hair while it's wet or in the process of drying. If you shower at night, you'll wake up with a crazysauce 'do that looks like your Great Aunt Gertrude’s cat after its flea bath.
3. Morning showers rejuvenate and refresh you for the day ahead—so you don’t have to worry about falling asleep in chemistry and waking up with Sharpie Glasses on your face, compliments of your arch-nemesis, Darla.
4. Morning showers not only make you 42% more popular, they make you 3 to the nth power % smarter.
5. Showering at night causes the urge to write terrible books about angsty teenage vampires.
6. Stephenie Meyer showers at night. (See number 5.)
7. Showering in the morning makes you feel hopeful about the upcoming day. Showering at night forces you to dwell on the events of the current day, which include accidentally tripping the dreamy biology teacher and falling face-first into a cafeteria trashcan.
8. Every time you shower at night, a puppy dies. It's TRUE. (It's not true.)
9. Showering in the morning ensures that you'll never have to face flashbacks to the terrifying shower scene in Psycho.
10. A morning shower gives you time to warm up your vocal cords; when your crush asks you if you're free Saturday night, you don't want to answer with a croaking burp.
11. Showering at night causes mushrooms to grow between your toes, which means you can't wear flip-flops. Ever.
12. If you shower in the morning, there's always plenty of hot water. If you shower at night, the water is always -42 degrees. Basically, it's just ice cubes falling on your head.
13. Jacob Black showers in the morning.
14. It's been scientifically proven that showering in the morning increases your chances of winning the Virginia State Lottery, even if you don't live in Virginia.
15. Taking a shower in the morning allows you to spend all night catching up on SparkLife posts!
So, what's it gonna be: night showers, or morning showers?
Related post: 15 Reasons Why You Should Shower At Night