Why Being a Twin is Awesome
Wait, so CAN you read your twin's mind? Just kidding, Zoe Dee; of course you can!—Sparkitors
I’m going to assume that you’ve wondered what it’s like to be a twin, unless you are a twin, which is what I am (an identical twin, to be precise). If you're not a twin, I’d like to explain why being a twin is so awesome (and I'd also like to see how many times I can use the word "twin" in one paragraph). Get ready to be mad jealous.
The most important aspect of Twin Awesomeness has to be the constant attention from strangers. Being asked “Are you guys twins?” never loses its charm. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s similar to the never-ending pleasantness of being asked “Are you pregnant?” or “Are you sure you’ve lost weight?” The infinite number of questions you'll be asked is definitely one of the biggest perks of twin-hood, especially if you’re an outgoing social animal (read: shy introvert) like me.
This leads us to the second coolest thing about being a twin: having telepathic powers. The above question is typically followed by “Can you read each other’s minds?” and “Do you feel her pain?” Well, for all of you curious, intellectual people out there, I'm here to tell you YES! Not only can I read my twin's mind, I can also sense when she is hurt. For example, if somebody punches her in the nose, I will feel the impact on my nose, no matter what the distance between us (and despite the fact that this violates the laws of science).
People don’t only like to ask us questions; they also enjoy telling us things about ourselves. This is usually done through profound, thoughtful observations like, “Your twin is probably better at math” (when noticing the disparity in our test scores), or “You’re probably more athletic” (when noticing my sneakers), or “Your twin is older, isn't she” (when noticing that she's an inch taller), or “You’re definitely the more relaxed one” (when noticing that I'm less talkative). Happily, these observations often turn into comparisons to famous twins (“So you’re the Mary-Kate, and she’s the Ashley!”), and while we don’t mind being compared to the waifish actresses who produced some of the cheesiest movies of our childhood (straight-to-DVD films Billboard Dad, How the West Was Fun, and Passport to Paris are just a few), we would be vastly more appreciative of a comparison to Fred and George Weasley.
In the movies, twins often enjoy the comical foolhardiness of switching places (see The Parent Trap for reference points)—and guess what? We switch places in real life, too! It always goes smoothly, just as popular films would lead you to believe, and despite the fact that we have contrasting birthmarks and totally different personalities, no one ever suspects a thing. And the best part is that when everyone finds out we've done, we never get in trouble; we're usually rewarded by warm smiles, friendly chuckles, and the reunion of our estranged parents.
Switching places reminds me of another awesome thing about being a twin: the constant confusion surrounding my identity! Being called the wrong name is just a harmless and hilarious incident that occurs 95,000 times a day. The real fun starts when I can't even tell which twin I am. Example:
Me: *Flipping through old photographs* That really looks like me, but it could be my twin…Mom, come look at this picture?
Mom: *Drops pickaxe and hurries over* What is it, dear?
Me: Is that me or my twin?
Mom: I don’t know, dear, I simply can’t tell the two of you apart! *Cheerfully returns to her axe, leaving me in a serious state of identity crisis*
Great. Now that you have the low-down on twins, feel free to ask the twins in your life any of the questions listed above; they totally cherish hearing them repeated every day for the entirety of their awesome lives.
Oh, and one more thing: Sure, the looming possibility that my twin will hack me up into small pieces (using Mom’s beloved pickaxe), shove me into the freezer alongside frozen vegetarian burritos, and take over my life is something I often think about, but after a bout of chuckles and a game of Scrabble, it's forgotten—except at night, when the dreams come.
Dude, you're HILARIOUS. We bet you're the funny twin, right?
Related post: A Day in the Life of a Twin