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Why I Can't Stand Flying

Why I Can't Stand Flying

Ironically, written by flyergirl13. —Sparkitors

I haven't had good experiences on airplanes. Sure, they get you to your destination quickly, but that's about it. When you think about it, you realize you're actually getting into a giant metal box held together by half-inch thick bolts. Then you allow yourself to go up in the air tens of thousands of feet. The only thing separating you from the sky is a sheet of plastic, and whatever those windows are made out of. You travel at speeds faster than any living thing on Earth. And that's just the flying part.

To fully document the reasons to hate airline travel, let's look at the process chronologically:

#1 The cost: Air travel is expensive. REALLY expensive. You're paying for what you save in time and gas money. I've seen people pay a few hundred bucks to fly a distance they could cover in an hour with $20 of gas. Sheesh.

#2 Going to the airport: Airports are big. They're confusing. There are signs every ten feet that point you in conflicting directions. And there are long lines everywhere, with people running around trying to cut you, screaming that they are late for their flight. It's crazy.

But there is one plus. You know that moving sidewalk thing? Tons of fun. Just stand there and enjoy your ride while the people late for their flight scream at you to get moving. Very amusing.

#3 Security: Don't get me wrong, I think security is absolutely necessary. Completely. No sarcasm. But I do believe it gets a bit ridiculous. I recently had a bad experience with security. I bought a hammock in Costa Rica as a souvenir, and brought it as a carry-on because it would not fit in my luggage. Nope. Security confiscated it. Apparently, it was a "blunt object." I was obviously going to get on the plane and start bludgeoning people with it. If you think about it, isn't anything a blunt object? My fist, for example? Are they going to start cutting off people's hands now? Don't you feel threatened by a teenage Girl Scout with a hammock? Yes, security is annoying.

#4 Seats: Unless you fly business class, you know the feeling of cramped economy-class seats. As in, there's not enough room to turn your head without bumping the person next to you. If you plan on fidgeting, expect a full-on war with your seatmates. And don't even think about falling asleep. Invariably, even if you start out resting your head on the window, you will end up leaning on your neighbor, which leads to a very awkward situation when you wake up.

#5 Food: Ever tried airplane food? Euch! It tastes stale, and smells gross. The fruit has a sort of rubbery texture to it. And the muffin? It tasted like sawdust. I implore you, buy food in the terminal and bring it on the plane. You will be glad you did once you see your seatmate's face when he/she eats the airline food. Then, if he/she has been a bad seatmate, you may make a big show of biting into your Hershey's bar and making appropriate noises.

#6 Baggage claim: This comes after you disembark from the stinky plane. One of the rules of the universe is that no matter what, your luggage will be near the end of the parade of bags. Always. Meaning, you'll be standing there sweating as bag after bag comes out of the carousel, and none are yours. Just as you start to think, "Oh crap. They lost my luggage," it will finally, miraculously appear.

What's your preferred method of transport?

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Topics: Life
Tags: sparkler posts, annoying things, flying, airplanes

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