BillyBobJoeAKACheeseAKASeth is so angry at us! We didn't acknowledge his birthday, we puked on his favorite SparkLife flag, and we ate his dog for dinner. That's pretty much what he said in this comment:
@sparkitors- i am very sad
i told you guys that it was my birthday a while ago and you didn't put it in the following friday awards. oh and i think that we should have a wild card showdown type thing with the remaining flags that are in second place in each of their categories. that is all.
Well, you uncontrollable, enraged adolescent, we have something to say to you: bones
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!
And happy belated. :]
Now, the rest of yuz: If you didn't get a Friward today, you have our permission to eat ice cream for lunch tomorrow. Because that's what we did this afternoon, and it made all of our pains (heartbreak and butt cramps, mostly) DISAPPEAR. So this week, everybody wins! Except people who are allergic to ice cream and didn't get Friward. You can have... cheese.
Happy Belated Birthday to Medea37, pollysmiles10, MrsBergstein, PlathAddict16, and TheOneWithTheHat! awesomesaucery.
Happy Tomorrow Birthday to endlesslight44's brother, who better get a SparkLife nickname asap!
Nickname of the Week (despite reminding us of an ex-boyfriend) goes to the grossly-named MolesPerLiter. What the BLEEP. Whatever, we love it.
The Smarty Skirt Made of Encyclopedia Pages Award goes to zella435 for this comment on Blogging Breaking Dawn Part 12...
Dan, I am still reading your blogs and still finding them hilarious, though I have been reduced to lurker status.
I never read this book--Thank God and all things holy--but when you mentioned about how they talked about abortion in a roundabout way, that reminded me of how Smeyer likes to talk about, ahem, special hugging without ever coming out and saying it. Do you think she's trying to ineptly channel Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants" and lacks the skill to do so?
The YOUR MISERY IS OUR HILARITY Award goes to Icelandgirl for this comment on A Day in the Life of a High School Sorority Rushee...
You are sooo friggin lucky!!! In Iceland, freshmen are hazed so much when you enter high school (age 16 here)by the seniors. And I am not getting into any kind of sorority. Just the school tradition Yesterday I was hazed and:
1st. I got sprayed water on me. Broken
2nd. I got dosed in flour.
3rd. I had to take one shot of spilled milk.
4th. I had to crawl on the floor and baah like a sheep.
5th. Some senior splashed self tanning lotion on my hair and forehead and it still won't come off. the
6th. I was pulled out of the line of baahing and meowing freshmen and I was made to crawl in a dark tunnel made from plastic garbage bags and full of disgusting goo (boiled spagetti and fake blood (the hazing theme was "slaughter") and I nearly puked. Then I had to put my hand into the same disgusting goo and put it in my hair.
6th. Someone smeared pink lipstick on my cheeks.
7th. I had to get up on a table and dance and sing in front of the other freshmen.
8th. I had to spank a guy on the ass still up on the table.
9th. I got spanked.
10th. I had to do 10 push ups.
Anyway I smelled disgusting and all my clothes were ruined.
Yep. And after that I got initiated into the school as a formal student.
OAT HOLES POINTS go to Tigress_118 for this comment on In Defense of Generic Snacks...
I laugh whenever I see the generic equivalent of brand name cereals, the names are hilarious! Fruity Pebbles can't compete with Fruit Flakes, which sounds like a tropical-flavored fish food, and what chance does Cheerios stand against Oat Holes? None, you die laughing before Cheerios even has a chance.
We'd Spoon with Voldemort to Take These Awesome Electives Awards go to...
MaidenWarrior for...
Harry Potter 101: of
Uniform: A cloak and wand are necessary at all times.
In this course you willl recieve complete knowledge of the world of Harry Potter. Just what did Emeric the Evil do? How many mistakes does Movie 6 contain? Why Albus Severus? Who's hotter: Malfoy or Harry, and which version: movie or book?
Textbooks: All parts of the series as well as Tales of Beedle the Bard, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and Quidditch through the ages.
Final Exam: Successfully complete Sporcle's Top 200 Harry Potter Character Refrences Quiz, as well as a practical exam.
Bedazzle_Like_You_Mean_It for...
3 words:
Underwater Basket Weaving
bring your snorkels,
(gillyweed is an acceptable substitute)
The Greatest News of All Time Award goes to ChangminsBabyGirl for this comment on Genius Ways to Enjoy Cheez-Its, Other Than Eating Them...
Did you know they actually make Scrabble Cheez-Its? They have letters on them. You can play an entire game of Scrabble and the winner gets all the Cheez-Its!
This is the Most Charming Thing We've Read All Week (except for the ingredients list on our double fudge peanut butter ice cream) Award goes to babydoll-tiff for this comment on Extreme Board Games...
Sparklife: The Board Game
Original Version: What's the point of having a classic version to this game? There is absolutely nothing ordinary about this game! shmexiness
Extreme Version: Players get to pick from four one-of-a-kind sterling silver figurines that varies from a jetpack, a werewolf, a wizard's hat, a sarcasm hand, or one of Auntie Sparknotes infamous "Handless" drawings brought to life in figurine form.
The object of the game is to get to the end of the board (which happens to be in a spiral shape) Which contains The Friday Awards while avoiding the sparkling vampires (curse you Twilight!), and the masked bandit, Gary at all costs!
Other spaces to look out for include: the Awesome thing of the week (which requires you to do something extreme such as eating something that is disgusting, or have yourself twisted around...), Blogging Twilight (which requires to to answer a few questions regarding the current chapter and acting out a scene), Cute thing of the week (Which requires you to dress up a pet (or someone if you don't have a pet), and put it in the most wackiest outfit that you can think of!), the Committee of Cool (which requires you to sing a song backwards while hanging upside down!) As well as many other Spaces related to some of the popular features on the site.
Of course, like in most other regular board games, there would be dice (but instead of the regular shaped die, it would have 12 sides to each die)
The first person to reach the end of the board Wins, and receives a Friward while the losers Would have to worship said winner for the rest of the day, and would have to run around naked with only a sign on them that says (I am Stupid and unworthy of the game...)
You can Get this game for the absolutely low price of 299.99!! (plus tax!) and
Remember, a Game this awesome doesn't come cheap! Pre-order your game today!
OH WAIT, This Is Also Really Charming Points go to hlucero06 for this comment on Genius Ways to Enjoy Cheez-Its...
When I was about five years old, my dad and I were going on a road trip at night, and I saw a little bird that had fallen out of its nest. I figured it was hungry, so I threw a few crushed up Cheez-Its at the bird, and started telling it to eat. It didn't eat my Cheez-Its. Smart bird (who knows where my 5-year-old hands had been?!)
LOL Points to...
QuirkySpark for this comment on Extreme Board Games...
I know it's going to be difficult to make a board game version of this, But I'll give it a shot.
For some reason when I saw the pic I thought - 'OMG! It's Tiny Twister! Like you can only play it with your fingers! How cool! I would so win, my fingers are like Voldemort's.' Only then I realised it wasn't Tiny Twister. To my dismay, it was another board game I didn't recognise.
Now I want Tiny Twister to be real
willutakemehome for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: B-Word Is the New Black...
Tee-hee. I love it when people write "s-word" because it looks like "sword". So when you use the "s-word" it's like you're taking out a mighty rapier and slashing your enemies with the power of your "s-word".
Related note: Does anyone else like to pronounce "sword" with the "w" in their head? Like, you see it and think "sWWORD!" Yup. I do.
Superhero001 for this comment on Code Words For the New School Year...
Whuggle: n. Derived from 'Muggle'. A person, especially an annoying, let's-stop-and-talk-in-the-middle-of-the-hall kind of person, who whines nearly constantly, and doesn't appreciate the hard work that it is to get from one end of the building to the other, even without them clogging up the already too-narrow hallways. They are also usually mundane individuals, and don't believe in magic.
Sample: I would have gotten to class on time, but there were all these whuggles in the halls, and I couldn't get past them!
Hall-Walker: n. A person who is an expert at walking through the crowded hallways. They can maneuver around crowds, up stairs, and maintain a fast pace all while conversing with friends.
Sample use: Did you see her get to class? She's such a hall-walker! I didn't even have a chance to say her name before she was out of sight! are
chorzel for this comment on the same post...
Margarine n. A person for whom you care for only in the platonic sense.
vs.
Butter n. A person for whom you have romantic feelings.
Sample usage: Me and Joey? No way, he's totally my margarine. But Eric? Yeah, he's the brand of butter I was looking for all last year.
Best code ever because it is super simple once explained, but almost impossible to crack from the outside.
SummerEliza for this comment on How to Be Awesome: Kitchen Edition...
I haven't been allowed back into the kitchen ever since I tried to melt chocolate in a plastic dish. Take my advice, kids!
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT MICROWAVE FIRES! collar
Bedazzle_Like_You_Mean_It for this comment on The Most Annoying Habits of All Time Ever...
My younger sister takes showers at 7 am on Saturdays. My younger sister blasts JASON DERULO on her ihome while showering at 7 am on Saturdays. My younger sister BLOW DRIES HER HAIR WHILE PLAYING JASON DRUELO ON HER iHOME WHILE I AM 1 LOUSY DRYWALL AWAY, TRYING TO SLEEP IN...on Saturdays.
The punchline, you ask? She does not GO anywhere on Saturdays
*head-desk*
*head-desk*
*head-desk*
*head-desk*
*head-desk*
One day, the cord to that ihome will be "magically" severed, and it will "magically" disappear. Into the garbage. It will "magically" disappear into the garbage ON FIRE.
And I will laugh maniacally.
snowangel1794 for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: No Blood? No Pain? No Regrets? No Problem...
"If it weren't fun, then our species' chances of survival would be pretty slim."
Haha I can just picture the conversation between a married couple.
Husband: Honey I'm home!
Wife: Oh good! I just finished the dishes so once I put the laundry in the dryer, we can get to our civic duties.
Husband: Did the mayor send us ANOTHER order to try and have kids?!
Wife: I know its an extremely boring and tedious task honey, but its the law!
Husband: *grumble grumble* Fine! I'll go get the lube...
aleyna22 for this comment on In Defense of Generic Snacks...
I'm considering switching to these Toast 'Ems after what happened this morning when I opened a box of Pop-Tarts. I pulled one out- chocolate fudge- and there was a giant HOLE in the middle of it. It wasn't like a bug had crawled in and ate it, because there wasn't fudge leaking out or whatever. It was sealed up. It was MADE that way. I'm kind of scared to even eat another Pop-Tart tomorrow morning, actually.
flyergirl13 for this comment on The Ellie Report: How to Save Face When The Teacher Catches You Daydreaming...
This happens to me pretty much on a daily basis:
Me: *doodling a T-Rex with a mustache*
Teacher: Can you translate the first question for us?
Me: *looks up guiltily* Me?
Teacher: Oui.
Me: *attempts to translate a French sentence including approximately 136.2 different verb tenses*
Teacher: You are telling us that this sentence means "The angry T-Rex should have eaten the piano last week, causing it to grow a large mustache to enter into the national contest this coming Thursday"?
Me: *follows Ellie's advice, trying to be authoritative* Yes.
Teacher: It means, "Yesterday evening, I completed my homework and watched TV". See me after class.
Me: Oui. *tries to melt*
lizzo_14 for this comment on A Day in the Life of a Mankler Who Works at a Hospital...
I was at the hospital this morning for bloodwork. After 3 phlebotemists, 2 hours, 7 needle sticks, one finger prick, 6 hot packs, 3 heated blankets, and 2 fainting spells (I really don't like blood), they finally got a decent sample from my tiny veins. It was all worth it in the end, though, because they gave me a Beauty and the Beast sticker!
sgtpepper191 for this comment on Reasons Raisins are Win...
SparkNotes, you're confusing me. Since I consider this site to be the summit of ultimate wisdom, I am highly impressionable as to the opinions expressed in posts. NOW I DON'T KNOW WHETHER OR NOT TO LIKE RAISINS.
travelwriter21 for this comment on the same post...
Lovely reasons, sparkler, but I still don't like raisins. There's something about them that seems untrustworthy (or possibly evil).
Nillabee for... epitome
NO, RAISINS TASTE LIKE SADNESS AND DEATH.
anEpicofEpicEpicness for this comment on Life Without a Sense of Smell...
I totally didn't know that exsisted.
And I want to be a doctor. Good Lord.
Happy Friday, everyone, especially the Sparkler who this week's secret message is for!
Topics: The Internets
Tags: friday awards
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