The Friday Awards

ATTENTION, EVERYONE!

Attention Sparklers, and manklers, and frogs! Attention Boo Radley, Aunt Lena, and hogs! And yayers and nayers, and creepy soothsayers, and flies on the wall, and slugs in the hall, and pandas and grandmas, and kittens the size of spotted brown dogs!!! if

*gasps* EVERYONE! ATTENTION!

*small voice* Our flag has been chosen.

With 37 percent of the vote, the colors PURPLE, TURQUOISE, AND SILVER will be on our flag. Should we have a design contest? you

YES, we should! Design your purple, turquoise, and silver SparkLife flag and send it to contribute@sparknotes.com, and sometime soon, we'll have an epic SPARKNOTES FLAG OFF. (Make it 304 pixels tall by 406 wide, so we don't have to chop it up!)

Now, awards! could

Happy Belated Birthday to KellyLovesSparkNotes, bex8123, HarryPotterLoverGrL, agentplatypus, rebeckersx3, MJOOM, who is also a butt trumpet, NerdAppeal__, IxSeexAll, Noellie_Incognito, RagingLunatic, and laxchicscore96!

Nicknames of the Week goes to my_socks_are_wet_too and anEpicofEpicEpicness.

The Good Question Award goes to semperspes for this comment on How To Bounce Back When Someone Hurts Your Feelings...

Riding High on the Underwards go to... see

theoreticalgrrl for...

The Edward Cullen panties work best during that time of the month... one

acciodubblestuff24 for...

ummm..

1. Leaving your undies at your friends house for her big brother to find

2. Bright pink with sparkles stars monkeys and flowers

3. Going to the bathroom, pulling your undies all the way down to your ankles and have your teacher comment on them

4. Folding siblings undies for punishment *shudder* invisible

5. Changing in the locker room during a fire drill (I think this says enough) thing,

6. Having your (male) coach walk in while changing then afterwards saying "After you've seen one you've seen them all."

Sounds really creepy unless you were there

Guess which have happened to me and/or my friends.

hazyshadeofwinter for...

The only dress code at my school is "Underwear is not outerwear." It's left over from the 80's.

Also, my friends gave me lacy underwear as a joke for my birthday and my mom found them. It was really awkward. She was like, "Why do you have these...?" I told her it was a joke from my friends. She didn't get why it was funny. what

LaineyOrSomething for...

Wait-wait- I've got an embarrassing gym class story that doesn't involve me getting hurt for once!

During the self-defense unit we did, after we learned all kinds of fight moves, we were "attacked" by a training guy and had to fight him off. It was both scary and fun. One girl got away after a long struggle of bridging and rolling to escape, and when she got up her baggy track pants were somehow pulled down at the back... and she was wearing a g-string. would

blacktophat for...

Know what really sucks? When your brother's underwear somehow winds up in your bag, and then falls out in the aisle between the desks during class, and then the teacher walks by and sees them. Then she asks who they belong to, and you sure as hellfire aren't going to claim them , and nobody else is going to, so they get picked up with a pen, held at a distance and thrown away.

...

That's... Uh... Just a situation I thought up. Totally never ever happened. No sir. it

jinx182 for...

Soo disgusting but I was babysitting one time and the lady (who is like at least 40) throws a leg over the babygate to get downstairs and she was ick going commando. Nasty nasty. Needless to say I don't babysit for them anymore.

em&m for... be?

I was once babysitting with my best friend, and the mother told us to do the laundry.... not only did we have to wash the twin girls' undies but also the mom's and the dad's.... and fold them... *tickling sensation down my spine*... the mom had thongs, grannies, and lacies... it was a hell of an experience.

That Award is MIME Awards go to the following Sparklers for their comments on The Committee of Cool: Art vs. Science vs. DAN BERGSTEIN...

Spiffy_Alien for...

So a man walks down a street, and accidentally licks a mime. He yells "ZOMG THAT WAS A HORRIBLE GROSSNESSITY!" A old guy asks him why, and he says "A mime is a terrible thing to taste."

...or maybe it was "ZOMG! A TALKING OLD GUY!!"

I forget.

mj_adams for...

Tale as Old as Mime: Dating Tips For Silent People

Go Ahead, Mime My Day: Clever Tips For Hunting Mimes

Any Man of Mime: A Dating Guide For Silent Country Singers

Mime Reasons to Stop Talking: One More Than Eight Reasons To Become A Mime

Mime Breaking Up With You: One Woman's Journey Through Her Relationship With A Mime

Mime Blowing Magic: A Collection of Silent and Invisible Magic Tricks

Mime Not Listening: A Guide to Communicating Through Movement

Mime not going to play this game anymore. It's a waste of mime and repeating that word in my head is making me crazy. I'm losing my mime!

help. me.

blacktophat for...

Mimeorium: The Life of a Mime

That Box is Mime!: How to Become a Professional Mime

The Mime Traveler's Wife: Story of a Silent Woman

Mime is Running Out: You'd Better Start Acting

LOL Points to...

theatergirl1114 for this comment on The Committee of Cool...

@4321HOOPLAsteph I totally agree about art vs. Science. I say, what about cooking? It's an art but it's also a science! *cooking looks confused between the open arms of science and art then falls to its knees shouting, "Why? WHY?!" at the sky.*

Eebyenoh for this comment on Why Is Green Pen Illegal?...

"Severe death."

That must be one of the best phrases ever.

Lucy Hutchinson, I award you 20 points. Points can be used to win the house cup, get cupcakes for free, or to repair your cupcake cannon. They can also get you a date with Oliver Wood. Spend them wisely.

MaidenWarrior for this comment on The Loser's Guide to BAMing...

I never Bam,

how 'bout you?

I usually am comment number twenty-two.

Every time I miss one by just a minute

I remind myself I'm not in it to win it.

I'm here to have 'lol,'

to 'have a ball'

and to keep from bashing my head

into a wall.

You guys keep guys keep me sane,

as a matter of fact.

So bam 36:

what's the matter with that?

RustyApplesauce for this comment on Diary of a High School Freshman: Orientation Day...

I'll bet my left eyeball your orientation wasn't as bad as mine. It involved about 200 raw eggs, a high-pressure hosepipe, bacon impersonations and a sandwich up for adoption.

Sepia93 for this comment on How to Live on the Edge: Summer Edition...

Problem. My town has no high-dive, rollercoaster, or toy store. I guess I'll be dangerous by feeding the pigeons white instead of wheat.

Bergstein_is_our_king for this comment on A Day in the Life of a Concert Band Camp Clarinetist...

Did you know the clarinet is nicknamed the licorice stick? I didn't. Now, whenever I look at mine, I want to eat it.

itswhoiam for this comment on Anything Can Be a Mascot!...

We're the Mad Hatters...apparently our small town used to make hats and everyone went crazy because of mercury poisoning. During football games, a hat runs onto the field. Exciting.

xoxoSydney13 for this comment on the same post...

My mascot is a Senator. Which sucks.

I mean...what? "Ooh! Fear me! I'll pass somea terrible legislature!!" XD

purplecupcake4 for...

the scottsdale community college mascot is the "fighting artichoke." no idea where that came from....
david spade was a fighting artichoke hehe

gemeinthehardtgirl for...

My middle school mascot was the Trojan. And, to top it all off, our school colors were purple and white. Condoms much?

gravity no longer applies for...

our school doesn't have a mascot, but if it did, it would be a nun

The Great Friend Award goes to Missmolly. She should know why.

And Emily Awards go to Sparklers with the best insults from last week's Friday Awards. We don't care if they're borrowed—we're just impressed that you remembered them! Here's our winners:

Superhero001 for...

Joanis has all the virtues I dislike and none of the ones I admire. He is also a very modest person with nothing to be modest about, and is not only dull himself, but is the cause of it in others. I hear he loves nature, despite what it did to him, for the last I heard he was quite the monsterous orchid. He is a tiresome, affected sod. I will be unable to attend his funeral, but I dare say I shall send a letter saying I approve of it.

willutakemehome for...

Joanis is really gross.
Joanis I hate the most.
Joanis I want to punch.
Joanis, I bet, hates brunch.
Joanis is quite inane.
Joanis could drive one insane.
Joanis is very bland.
Joanis eats teaspoons of sand.
Joanis knows not of art.
Joanis is not too smart.
Joanis' words are bile.
Joanis has a termite smile.
Joanis does spiders eat,
Joanis always smells like feet.
Joanis mostly likes to lie.
Joanis makes most babies cry.
Joanis is no model of a modern major general
Joanis has no information vegetable, animal or mineral
Joanis, I wish that soon
Joanis lived away on the moon.

SpiffyAlien for...

Dear Joanis,

Hi there! I just thought I'd let you know that I loathe you with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. I abhor you with the burning fury of seventy enraged Zebu; I detest, hiss at, deplore, scorn, despise, eschew, and all-around resent you for causing there to be NO PUZZLE, which is the ONLY reason I wait around all week trying to find anagrams for words like "Ichulpthspulters" and "Ivannapotato."

You are dead to me, Joanis. DEAD.

Love,
~Spiffy

villanous_mwaha for...

Joanis: The emotions I bear trending to your muzzle are so opprobrious, so repugnant, so very prey to malaise that it makes one desirous of wretching! I would be mellifluous if you could denude your entelechy from my endopsychic convergence.
That is all.

biskvitkaimlyako for...

Joanis smells like a rotting fish, and his face is covered in purple tentacles. His ears are reminiscent of mouldy cauliflowers, and his eyes are the color of swamp water. His hair hangs in long, greasy coils from his head, and his fingernails are long, cracked, and yellowed. Also, he picks his nose.

bad_hijab_day for...

Joanis is a loambag

Happy weeeeeeeekend!

Hint: This week's message is hidden in a different way.