The Friday Awards

Sparklers young and younger, far and farther, it is time to choose your flag!

This week, this ed finally forced Chelsea Dagger (at Cheeto-point, which is like knife-point, but sharper in the cheddar) to put up THIS POLL with your official color options for the SparkLife Academy flag. Chelsea put up some fake color scheme poll a few weeks ago, but that was just to psych you out and make me do The Angry Dance. Darn you, Chelsea D! *shuffles feet and triple pirouettes*

Y'all tried to figure where this ed was writing from last week, and guess what, NOT ONE OF YOU WAS—oh heck, you were totally right. Amazingness Points to Sparklers Rosecup:), peaceloveguard, belly_candy33, and sir gandalf dumbledore-kenobi for correctly identifying that pictures as Madison, Wisconsin, land of cheese, nice people, and—as we discovered last weekend—naked babies running around a hippie co-op and eating off the floor.

Let's do birthdays, yeah?

Wait, one more thing. First, we have to talk to pullingpuzzles, and give her a Knowledge Award for this comment on We Don't Get It.

You want to know what I don't understand? Analog clocks. I could stare at one for hours and not know what the time is.

I love olives, I love celery, and skinny jeans make me feel like I'm cool.

Fun fact: It took a long time for me to realize that olive oil was oil made from olives. I always had just assumed that it was just one thing oliveoil.

GUESS WHAT, PUZZLES: This ed never thought about where olive oil came from either. Actually, she thought it came from babies. Congratulations on your award. You are now officially smarter than a Sparkitor.

Happy Belated Birthday to Dan Bergstein, Pistaciosaregreat, gravity no longer applies, sciencenerdess94, charred_rose11, kylxy, amazinggrace7, friendlydragonette, CathiKin, Icelandgirl, castralfire, museoftomorrow, aab19, missmadiison, bellabean3648, apercusfinch, and amazinggrace7!

Happy Sunday Birthday to mtkoch!

Nickname of the Week goes to MorganSpinsFlags. Simple and charming. Plus, we want Morgan to be in the SparkLife Academy colorguard, and this is our bribe.

The LOLNon-Human Award goes to houseobsessed14 for this comment on My Crush Isn't Human...

The Picture. It makes my eyes happy. Orlando Bloom witha blonde wig and tight elvin clothes shooting down Orcs and elephants and ropes? Yes please house can haz more?

Double Friday Awards Points go to Jujukins for this comment on last week's Friday Awards...

Who'd've thunk it? My inability to attract the opposite sex got me a Friward.
The question is, is this good or bad?

Ice Cream IN YOUR PANTS (we have no idea) Points goes to thenameselodie for this comment on Murphy's Law of Student FAILs...

The one day you fake sick to avoid giving a presentation will be the day your extremely strict, no-nonsense teacher takes the class out for ice cream. And the next day you will have to go first.

I was seriously like WHAT THE #$%&? Ice cream? The woman was pure evil. I didn't even know she believed in ice cream, since it symbolizes all that is good and innocent in the world.

LOL Points to Monochromatic_Kiss for this comment on Happy Notpocalypse!...

I tried this out today.

Me: Happy Notpocalypse!

Friend: Oh, you've been reading Sparklife, too?

...And the conversation following that rocked the universe. You must have felt something. Maybe an itch? A change in air ventilation? Something?

agentplatypus for this comment on Tiffany Totally Knows Fall Fashion...

LYK AHMAHGAWD!

TIFFANY! I missed yah sooo much, gurrrrl!

Lyk, Sparklife has been SOOO fashion-unsavvy without you!

They lyk, wouldn't even lyk, listen to me AHMAHGAWD especially when I was like, "AHMAHGAWD, Chelsea, you lyk need to take something for your sweat!" and she was like, "Um, no. I enjoy being wet all the time." And I was like, "DUH that's why you don't have a boyfriend!" and then she was like, crying, and I lyk, don't even know why ahmahgawd.

mrelizabethbennet for this comment on the same post...

Set yourself on fire...That's pretty hot,huh? It has the added benefit of being IN forever since you can't do this for more than a couple of seconds.Be sure to master the lie down and roll technique and have fire-fighters follow you everywhere.But when you're(literally)so HOT..who cares,right?

thats.just.dandy for this comment on Five Things You Promise to Do This Year (That You Won't)...

Promise: I will be waiting for my bus at the bus stop when it comes.

IxSeexAll for this comment on The Summertime Schedule of a Girl Who’s Just Been Dumped...

I would never get half this upset over a guy, *unless* we were married and he told me he was cheating on me or gay or was originally a woman. I would be ten times as upset if my cat died, though.

Reality: *frantically runs down the street with hair only half brushed and shoes untied* "WAIT! WAIT FOR ME!"

romancingvulcans for this comment on the same post...

@aleyna, my break up ritual is "dude, you are really nice but I find that you resemble a bison."

This is why I've been asked out a number of times but have never broken up.

jxsssica for this comment on My Crush Is a Studio Ghibli Character...

I have a crush on someone from Spirited Away. It's No-Face, obviously. There's just something about the way No-Face eats people but is really just lonely and misunderstood, can't talk but sigh-grunts, and has a mouth where the collarbone should be. Sexy. I would hug No-Face all day.

rainfire113 for this comment on My Crush Isn't Human...

I wanted to marry Kermit the Frog when I was little. I cried in Muppets take Manhattan, when *SPOILER* he gets hit by a car *END SPOILER*, and I also yelled at Miss Piggy for trying to steal my man!!! (er..amphibian. but you get the point)

hlucer06 for this comment on the same post...

I used to love Elmo form Sesame Street. Even though he's only three years old, rides a tricycle, and still reverses his pronouns, he is completely adorable, and ALL MINE! I would watch the whole episode just to see the last 15 minutes of "Elmo's World", and then cry when it finished. I don't care if I look insane, Elmo is mine!

LoverDumplings for this comment on Three Phylums of Nosy People...

Sex questions don't work on my parents.

If I don't want to talk, I unleash my aardvarks on them...cough...I mean I tell them calmly I don't want to talk?

LaGitanaRoja for this comment on My Crush Has an Amazing Accent...

Boyfriend: LOL your spanish accent is so funny!

Me: YOUR british accent sounds like you swallowed an army of frogs with strep throat.

Boyfriend: You pronounce words funny

Me: Oh yeah? Well..*tries to think of a good comeback and fails*...your face is funny.

I don't like accents anymore.

jewbiegirl for this comment on A Day in the Life of a Really Bored Mankler...

Boredom cure: TWO WORDS. Mattress slide. ANOTHER TWO WORDS. Down stairs.

hlucero06 for this comment on The Ultimate Guide to Moving...

If I wore just my underwear around here, I would be arrested. No joke.

Police Officer: "Little Miss, why are you in your underwear?"

Me: "To prove to you, and the rest of the world I am not afraid!" **cue dramatic pose**

Police Officer: "You do know it's against the law to be out in your underwear?"

Me: "You don't scare me!"

Police Officer: **sigh** "Let's take her in."

Me: "NO! You can't take me! I'm too cute to be arrested!"

Ahem. Not that this has actually happened to me.

LaGitanaRoja for this comment on The Benefits of Best Friends...

Friend: Did you know-

Me: YES! I HEARD, WASN'T IT -

Friend: So completely amazing! I was totally -

Me: Thrilled! I was hoping for it to happen and -

Friend; did! Ahh life's good.

And then we realized that I was talking about FC barcelona creaming another team, and she was talking about the fact that the boy she had crushed on all year flirted with her.

*facepalm*

AND FINALLY, Emily Awards go to the following Sparklers, who came up with HILARIOUS and SO TRUE responses to the hidden message from last week, "What should be illegal?"...

acting_like_abby for...

also,
1 big storms before pool parties
2 people who wear socks with sandals
3 people who wear socks with sandals and say theyve earned the right cause theyre a "lax bro" no. just no.

gravity no longer applies for...

what should be illegal:
4 year olds asking questions (believe me, i know)
that time of the month
having to wait outside in the rain for the bus at 8am
my religion teacher ('nuff said)
having 11 exam subjects (seriously?)
having to eat lunch while sitting on the floor
your (huge) teacher falling on top of you (actually happened to a girl in my school!)
getting the second bam instead of the first because you had to log in
your 7 year old brother falling in love with all your friends
your Irish teacher not telling you her birthday (please Mrs. Quirke?)
always having to fight your friends in competitions (martial arts, I'm not a savage)

sir gandalf dumbledore-kenobi for...

4 hour car rides each way with just your father. both happening tomorrow...I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!!!!! however, I will be going to a packer game, which is always awesome, even if it is just a preseason game and the regular ones are SO MUCH BETTER. especially when it's cold. So what should REALLY be illegal is packer games when it's above freezing.

rootoyoutoo for...

1. Salad dressings without easy-pour tops
2. Grapes with seeds
3. Frilly/poofy sleeves
4. The letter Q. It annoys me.

The totally fabulous AshleySpencer for...

It should be illegal for Emily to be as pretty, as good at dancing on a box , and as cool of a dresser as she is.

willutakemehome for...

Phone calls.

I hate it when the phone rings.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

I'M READING DON QUIXOTE...

OR WRITING DOCTOR WHO FANFICTION...

IN THE RECESSES OF MY MIND!

So yeah, phone calls, they should be illegal.

Not cell phone calls, tho. Just ones from the house phone.

violinchick89 for...

School that starts before 8 AM should be illegal. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.

flaming_hobgoblins for...

What should be illegal? the sequel they're making of valentine's day. it's going to be called new years eve. i wish my sarcasm hand was raised.... so...so much :'(

LoverDumplings for...

You know...men wearing short-shorts should be illegal. No seriously, I've been scarred for life by Richard Simmons.

Hopeypoo:) for...

What whould be illegal? I asked my little brother and dad. Dad said back hair... He has no room to talk. 
Noah said Cougars. Well...no comment 
I say it should be illegal to make people take out their gages for school. It gets all floppy, and plus, I don't know if you've noticed, but THEY STINK. Whenever we hear from the administrators about it, I have the overwhelming urge to stick their noses in a gaged ear, and torture them until they do what I say. If only there were no consequences for doing that... I would have some great fun at school 

Star'sLove for...

It should be illegal to not know about sparknotes

dramaKTO for...

what should be illegal:

*Allowing 8 year old neighbors to be running around with plastic swords in the park and attacking the neighborhood babysitter.
*Allowing a girl to call herself Sha-nay-nay whilst wearing a crab hat and making everyone dance in an interview and NOT hiring her even though she was the best one at the interview.

JUST SAYIN

...and a Sad Face Award to BellaSwan because Gary ate her list.

Happy Weekend, Sparklers!

p.s. olivemesomeweasley, you CAN, but urmm, maybe don't? A published Sparkler post, on the other hand, is legit impressive to the outside world.

p.p.s. Noooooo hidden message today because it is night, and a friendly friend named Joanis is waiting outside to hang out with this ed and finally EAT DINNER. And she's been keeping him waiting for a while. And, well, it's Joanis's fault. Feel free to creatively insult him in the comments!