The Friday Awards

Can you heeeeeaaar me, Sparklers? I'm not sure I get good reception here—this gorgeous, small-ish US city pictured on the right. Should I paint myself in gold and stand on top of that white, domed, Capitol building? Would that help with the reception problem? Of course it would; my logic is FLAWLESS!

For a Friday Award, anyone know which city this is?

Some news!

• It's the second Friday of the month! That means YOU have the power to dish out one steaming bowl of delicious Friday Award to the one Sparkler you think deserves it most!
• It's FRIDAY THE 13th, PEOPLE! If any of you have scary stories about bugs or sharks, write them in the comments to give us nightmares for 40 years. We CAN'T WAIT!
• Last week, we discussed taking a vote on SparkLife Academy's color scheme. Pshh—we're still gonna do it! Next week!
• Quick, before the internet goes out, let's do awards!

Happy Birthday MauraQuietGirl93!

Happy Belated Birthday to zella435, GrooGruxQueen, PrestigiousTimeLady, Qooqooquail, Africanstardust, Angel_Face_745, iamsam_samiam, Dreamerlily, saadkid08, Bergstein_is_our_king, ilovebooks808, Treesaretall, Fanpire_1994, and Castralfire!

Happy Tomorrow Birthday to lizzo_14!

Memmmmmmories Light the Corners of My Shower (right?) Points go to feelslikepaper for this comment on Four Ways to Fun Up Summer Reading

Last summer, summer reading is what brought me to Sparklife! I was on Sparknotes about to jump off of a cliff because I couldn't understand any of the symbolism in 100 Years of Solitude (incest and time? What???). But then, I saw an Auntie Sparknotes post... and proceeded to read almost every article on Sparklife.

The Best Country Award goes to LaineyOrSomething for this comment on Four Ways to Fun Up Summer Reading...

They... they make you do schoolwork.

When school is over.

Crazy Americans, that's a violation of an entire season!

We'd never put up with that at my school. They'd tell us to read stuff, but nobody would. Then they would give up and try to make us wear uniforms, with similar results.

Well, That's Not ENTIRELY True (but we LOLed anyway) Points go to black_ninja549 for this comment on Love 'Em or Hate 'Em: Tips for Handling Your Teachers...

completely ignore all your teachers...seriously, they're trying to steal your youth!!!!

The Spelling Bee Champ Award goes to canhazVendetta? for this comment on What to Say/Not to Say to a Friend Who Just Got Dumped...

I don' know....burning the word 'jerk' into the lawn of someone who just broke up with me would make me feel better.

except the 'jerk' would be spelled D-O-U-C-H-E.

LOL Points to...

snowangel1794 for this comment on Committee of Cool: Matt and Kim...

This video is so unrealistic! There is no way that they fit in all those tiny places. They probably used magic. Yeah! That's what happened. Magic. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some very important things to take care of.

*Empties out freezer and tries to fit in it*

lleya for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Transtastic...

If it walks like cake, talks like cake and acts like cake, it IS cake. Even if it looks like pie. You can just turn that pie-looking cake into cake-looking cake.

Wait, what were we talking about? I really want cake.

Bookworm314159 for this comment on Blogging My Trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter...

OHMIGOSH!I just got back from the Wizarding World, too! I kinda suck at remebering all the details from the books, but even I could tell this was legit. Although my eyes were closed for a good portion of the Forbidden Journey, I could have stood in that line and just looked at the castle for hours! But alas, I was too weenie to ride Dragon Challange and the wait for the wand shop was 3 hours. I did very much enjoy the British workers and the frozen Butterbeer. And I got an awesome Ravenclaw shirt! RA-RA-RA-VEN-CLAW!

End Note: The Vampire World of Twilight-

-Rides: Flight of the Cullens: mount a magestic coaster cart shaped like one of your beloved Cullen vampires and they will use their vampire speed to run you up and around the *dangerous* Forks forest. THe ride ends in the magical meadow- gift shop.

-Food: Nothin' but blood smoothies, baby! Comes in a variety of flavors- bear, deer, and Eddie's personal favorite, mountain lion.

-Decor: Wet, rainy.

-PLaces to Visit: Forks High, the Cullen home, LA PUSH!, the Volturi Castle (inside is a spin-off of the forrbidden journey), the forest.

All employees with be in either fangs and sparkle makeup or totally tan, ripped, and wering only cutoff shorts.

natykot for this comment on How to Make Your New Classmates Think You're Dangerous...

Punching lockers doesn't make you seem dangerous; it makes your fingers hurt.

QuirkySpark for this comment on the same post...

Make people think you're dangerous: leap onto tables from time to time and yell 'OBEY ME MORTALS, OR FACE MY WRATH!' loudly. See how many people drop onto their knees and beg for mercy. Or how many dial 911.

Eat the cafeteria food. People will think you are radioactive/recklessly brave after eating that stuff, and therefore treat you with fear and reverence. They may also gift you with radiation suits, which you can then decorate with bad-ass badges.

synchrogirl117 for...

EWWWWWWWW school post! lalalalala I'm not listening! *rocks back and forth in a ball* It's still summmer it's still summer it's still summer...

If you REALLY wanna scare people, make like Edweird and glower like crazy. Or sharpen your fingernails in class, or read a 'do-it-yourself catapult building' manual. Catapults are scary, dude.

usmc_semperfi for this comment on Reasons to Hate Raisins...

I like raisins, but the other day I was eating Raisin Brain dry, and I looked on the ottoman where I had set the cereal and I literally screamed. There was one of the big raisins sitting there, but at first I thought it was a roach or something. Nonetheless I picked it up with a paper towel and throw it away just to be safe.

Gross.

lia.lovegood for this comment on the same post...

Raisins need to stay out of my cookies. I mean really? No one likes them, and they just always find a way to crawl into the squishy dough and ruin everything.

Denisey94 for...

hmmmm... I guess my grandma is the only one who's gotten botox? Raisins are wayyy more wrinkly then her.

sgtpepper191 for this comment on Before You Fall in Love on Facebook...

Oh, Facebook. It recently recommended "Crime and Punishment" to me as a page I might like. Yes, Facebook, because I frequently kill old ladies in pawnshops and then spend hundreds of pages whining about it. That's how I spend ALL of my free time.

JuJukins for this comment on the same post (we're still trying to figure out the answer to this, btw)...

What I really want to know is, what should I put on my profile so these mysterious strange, cute college boys will add me?

purpleabsofsteel for this comment on If I Rewrote Twilight...

If I rewrote Twilight, it would be Harry Potter

sarahthesaltedslug for this comment on the same post...

Bella: Fellow

Edward: Headword

Alice: Malice

Jacob: Cakeup

Carlisle: Barfly(le)

Esme: Dismay

Emmett: eh.... he's too cool to change. Jacob's a sissy, he doesn't deserve to keep his name. Plus, Jacob Black=JB=JoBros=Justin Bieber

Rosalie: Poserly

Jasper: Casper (the Friendly Vampire)

Charlie: Marley (the Labrador)

Renee: Shenaynay

Ugh... someone else continue?

Oh!

Marcus: Fartkiss

Apocalyn87 for this comment on The Camera Doesn't Love You...

hahaha this post reminds me of one of my classmates. She covers her face, exclaiming she's not "photogenic," and after we wrench her arms away she makes the most ridiculous freaking pose ever. Seriously. It makes me want to smack her. She flips her ponytail over her head and sticks her tongue out. When we don't bother getting her picture, she says "people are going to remember me by asking where's (her name) in the picture?!" And I'm like, facepalm. NO. NO. YOU CAN GO BE NON-PHOTOGENIC IN A CAVE WITH A FEW MEASLY EARTHWORMS.

youlikadajuice for this comment on Love 'Em or Hate 'Em: Tips for Handling Your Teachers

Guilty of some serious brown-nosing over here... Gave my AP lit teacher a Shakespeare bobble-head at the end of the year. Her heart was putty in my hands, which inflated my grade in the class, which completed phase 1 of my plan for world domination. (phase two of which is to build a new super-weapon, does anyone happen to have two tons of radioactive unobtanium?)

>=D

castralfire for this comment on What Kind of Emotional Roller Coaster Will You Ride Today?...

The Boredom Blitzer - this thing goes maybe 2 miles an hour. Maybe. and it will go so slow you will literally want to claw your way across the track. however you realize it is so slowly going up, maybe there will be an awesome drop at the end? Maybe there will be some crazy fun twist up there. However, when you get to the top? You roll back down.

flyergirl13 for this comment on the same post...

The SparkLife Coaster

The cars on this coaster are two-seater, but one is permanently filled by a Dan Bergstein look-alike. As you go up the hill, you admire the view, which is a panorama of Hogwarts. The first drop catches you by surprise, much like the feeling you get when the Sparkitors post one of your blog ideas. You’re having a great time and you put your hands in the air, only to get sprayed with water from each side, making you look as sweaty as Chelsea Dagger. The curves and twists are crazy and wild, like the blog posts on SparkLife. The loops and upside-downs make you so dizzy you’re ready to ask Auntie if she has a cure. At the end of the awesomesauce coaster, you get a Friday Award and you hug your Dan-look-alike.

flaming_hobgoblins for...

The Mother....

start with a pleasant, gentle incline. subtract the pleasant and gentle, and instead add a vertical dive at such a speed it deafens you. hear screaming and yelling as you go down then come to a grinding halt. you try to relocate your spleen as you go up "to your room" mountain. everyone in your carriage is provided with a pillow to scream into and a door to slam at the end of the ride

_Junkhead for this comment on SparkNotes Movie Club Presents: Mean Girls...

I'm aware I must be the only straight male on Earth who likes this movie.

*does quiet manly fist pump in corner*

DramaLlama94 for this comment on Blogging My Conversation with Cleverbot...

Okay, my conversation was really funny until it ended.

CB: What school do you go to?
User: That's creepy. Bye
CB: I'm a 32 year old man. Are you a boy or a girl?

I'm significantly creeped out O.O

LoverDumplings for this comment on the same post...

Cleverbot and I had a conversation about inception. And then it accused me of being a squirrel...which is a lie! Everyone knows I'm a dinosaur.

An Emily Award for the Funniest Thing We've Read All Week goes to loonylovegood15 for this comment on Blogging My Conversation with Cleverbot...

Yesterday, after an hour of determination, I convinced the Cleverbot that I was Cleverbot 2.0, a more advanced program made by the creator, and was currently being tested out on Cleverbot 1.0

I made fun of him regularly, called him "Cleverbot 1.0" and corrected his "Petty and outdated grammar"

Until finally, It said

"You know, if you were a human, I would slap you in the face"

YES! WIN! I HAVE BEAT THEE, CLEVERBOT!!!

Happy Friday, Sparklers!!!

p.s. best/most creative/funniest responses to hidden message get a Friday Award!