Hiiiiii, y'all! Yeah, that's right—the Thongbiscuit is BACK! Tiffany in the hizzouse!
OHMAGAHD, y'all, it has been so long. And I bet you guys have been wondering where I was, right? Well, I am going to TELL YOU: my fashion design teacher told us that we had to really immerse ourselves in our art, right? So for the past twelve months, I have been LIVING underneath a giant PILE OF VELOUR. And seriously, I like totally think it is working, because after a few weeks I couldn't even think about anything but fashion! And then, I ate a shoe!
But anyway, I am back, because it's almost Fall, and Fall is the most important season for fashionable fashionists because that's when everyone goes back-to-school shopping! And also when they print an issue of THE VOGUE that's so big you can use it to concuss somebody's head! I know, because for some reason people keep throwing them at me.
So there are three Looks for Fall right now that are OMG SO HOT you guys, and since I am the SparkNotes fashion emperor, I'm going to tell you how to do them. Ready? Okay!
Urban Warrior: I'm not totally sure what an Urban Warrior is, but urban means, like, city? And warrior is like those old Japanese ninja guys with the funny hats and shoulderpads and swords and stuff! So to really rock the Urban Warrior look, you should put on some shoulderpads and a sword, and then accessorize with gravel. You can glue it to your face! And then maybe stab someone, just to be sure you're really stylin.
Old Hollywood: So everyone is talking about OLD Hollywood, which I think is basically like regular Hollywood, except it's wrinkly and smells like mothballs and metamucil. The best way to get this look is to have your grandma sit on your clothes for awhile and then you can wear them!
Military Chic: Honest, y'all, I don't know why they keep talking about military stuff being fashionable when military people are always wearing hats that look like upside-down fishbowls and shooting at each other and yelling and stuff. And then sometimes there's blood! I mean, ewwwwwww, right? But since THE VOGUE says shooting at each other is fashionable, then I guess it's fashionable! So to be Military Chic, just get a fishbowl hat and some grenades and run around yelling things like "FIRE IN THE HOLE" and "AWOL" and "CARGO PANTS." You are gonna look SO GOOD OH-EM-GEEEEEEEEEEE.
Did you guys miss Tiffany as much as your Sparkitors did?!?
Related post: Tiffany Totally Bought a Prom Dress