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Committee of Cool: Matt and Kim

Committee of Cool: Matt and Kim

By Chelsea Dagger

After the last Committee of Cool live chat (in which Chelsea Dagger valiantly attempted to act like a mature, tax-paying adult instead of a combative, Playdoh-eating toddler) a question was posed to you, our ever-loyal audience: what extraordinarily important lesson did we learn? As it turns out, you guys gleaned more than one moral from our story and came up with a spectacular array of potential answers. Here are some of our faves:

mj_adams: We learned how to spell staertling. I was staertld because I have been spelling it wrong my WHOLE LIFE. I know you guys would spell it right for sure because you're Sparkitors. Sparkitors is a funny word because it's like SparkLife Employee and Editor put together. It's really clever. You guys are really clever and not dumb babies at all. I MISSED THE CAPITOL LETTERS OKAY?!!?? !!? ? ?

Dont_Panic__42: The lesson we learned was:
Chelsea's street cred went up 20%, then quickly fell back down to 0% when her imaginary boyfriend showed up. Another lesson:
all sunflowers were indeed butts in a past life. Yet another one: Chelsea likes scarves.

synchrogirl117: Important lesson: the word butt is ha-ha-hilarious, but not to be said to your boyfriend, imaginary or not.

But while all of these lessons are undeniably valuable, only a few Sparklers (including time_turner and MugSpark) hit the nail on its sweaty head, and none so eloquently as LoverDumplings, who said:

We learned that Chelsea needs Caps to be funny. They're her comedic crutch.

Dumplings, YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT. Capital letters are the very air that Chelsea Dagger breathes, and without them, she is a shell of a man, much like Lord Voldemort minus six horcruxes, or Justin Bieber with normal-person hair. So you'll all be extremely relieved/horrified to know that she has decided to once again return to the crutches that have always served her so well, and GO BACK TO TALKING LIKE A CHILD. If you wish to applaud and/or hurl rotting vegetables, now is the time. After you've completed your standing ovation/showered Dagger in pumpkin guts, kindly direct your attention to this week's video:

Artist: Matt and Kim

Song: Daylight

Music Selection by: {Insert_Witty_Username_Here}

TRANSCRIPT OF LIVE CHAT:

Chelsea: You beezies be g-chatting?

Emily: Word.

Chelsea: BOW WOW?

Emma: Si.

Chelsea: Great. HEY, GOOD NEWS: I GET TO TALK LIKE A BUTT-CLOWN AGAIN.

Emma: Great.

Chelsea: The kids have spoken.

Emily: What did they say?

Chelsea: They said "Chelsea is super un-hilarious when she talks like a real person." AND IT'S SO, SO TRUE. IM NOT GONNA FIGHT IT.

Emma: That's mean. And not true.

Chelsea: JUST GO WITH IT, BOW WOW. Can’t stop the caps-lock fever.

Emily: The drummer is so shyyyyy.

Emma: She's so smiley.

Emily: She just keeps looking at the guy like "Is this okay? This okay? Can I keep? Hitting?"

Chelsea: I like them! Are they a couple in real life?

Emma: That's what I was typing, Chelsea! Are they?

Emily: Let’s discover the answer.

Chelsea: Emma, do that thing where you google stuff and magically find information.

Emily: http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/countygrind/2010/06/matt_kim_at_the_culture_room_october_14.php

Emma: Confirmed, they are together.

Chelsea: That’s CUTE. I like her Emma Watson haircut.

Emma: Me too. I like her smiley smiles. I identified with this video because my bathroom is just like that.

Chelsea: Cramped and full of strangers?

Emma: Window onto the fire escape, shampoo on the ledge.

Chelsea: The shower part was the best part.

Emma: I think the video is about being a couple in New York.

Chelsea: And living in a dumpster.

Emma: And loving each other even though the other person's butt is always in your face because there's no room.

Emily: Boooooooobs I'm watching the other one.

Chelsea: EMILY, GAWD. THIS IS A FAMILY CHANNEL.

Emma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n6GYolfWug

Emily: That is the best.

Chelsea: STOP ENCOURAGING HER, EMMA.

Emily: The rabbit!

Chelsea: I LIKE THE SONG PRETTY MUCH A LOT.

Emma: Me too! It's stuck in my head. It's jazzy! Very "peppy."

Chelsea: I want to write a screenplay starring Casey Affleck and then play this song in the background. Probably while he's getting stabbed in the gut.

Emily: Who would play you?

Chelsea: Danny DeVito, obviously.

Emily: Harharrrrr.

Emma: I don't want to brag but I totally took Astronomy with Casey Affleck.

Chelsea: ARE KIDDING ME?!?

Emma: No and we hung out with this other girl a lot.

Chelsea: IS HE AMAZING? WHAT’S HIS SIGN?

Emily: Woooooah.

Emma: We used to study for our crazy tests together.

Chelsea: DOES HE SPEAK OF ME OFTEN?

Emily: Did he have a girlfriend? Did you hit on him?

Emma: He was short, too short for me.

Chelsea: BUT YOURE VERY TALL, I AM SHORT, WE WOULD BE PERFECT.

Emily: So was he a jerk?

Emma: No, he was a teaser, like he would throw paper clips. Kinda 4th gradey.

Emily: Oh my god. I love it.

Chelsea: I AM OVERWHELMED BY HIS ADORABLE PRANKSTER WAYS.

Emma: Yeah, it was cute.

Chelsea: Emma, use your connections and get me a date with him. We could eat french fries and watch Netflix on my laptop.

Emma: We never went out, just tried to know what quantum physics were.

Emily: Were you freaking out the whole time?

Chelsea: You had to learn about quantum physics in ASTRONOMY?

Emma: I know, I thought it would be learning about how smart Geminis are. Instead it was full of equations!!

Chelsea: I would have freaked out if I was in his class. I would have written him 4 poems.

Emily: Ick. I took oceanography because I wanted to look at fish. Same thing.

Chelsea: Once I took BC Calculus. I got a C.

Emma: Oceanography isn't about fish? What is it then? What a disappointment.

Emily: I think I would have to pretend to be a tomboy if had a class with someone famous, because otherwise I would just go to class in my underwear and fake eyelashes.

Chelsea: I would have to get the surgery where they sew your mouth shut. But less creepy-sounding, because I just gave myself nightmares.

Emily: Oceanography is about complicated tides that I never really figured out. And there was no one famous or hot in that class. Fail.

Emma: Emily, did you like the video??

Chelsea: EMILLLLYYYYYYY?

Emily: I am deciding! I am so annoyed with Kim. I want to give her a pep talk and a hug and tell her to look straight at the camera and own it. I like when they are playing in the fridge.

Emma: Me too. Does she have to go in the freezer?

Chelsea: No, Matt is in the freezer, because keyboards are more mobile. I liked when they were in the cab with the annoyed guy and they were all up in his biznass.

Emily: It reminds me of this horrible book called I Just Want My Pants Back.

Emma: I READ THAT TOO AND HATED IT.

Chelsea: GUYS, I WROTE THAT BOOK.

Emma: You did a terrible job, Chelsea.

Emily: I was so disappointed.

Chelsea: I had a bad editor. ZING.

Emma: BTW, what guy in the cab? I didn't notice him.

Emily: Me neither. She's lying.

Chelsea: AM NOT. HE'S THERE.

Emma: I don't think he is. What minute?

Chelsea: Hold on, let me look.

Emily: That bathroom is 414 times bigger than mine.

Emma: I don't have a sink in my bathroom. That's how small it is. I'm constantly spitting toothpaste onto my dirty dishes.

Emily: I have to suck it in to get to the toilet. So your kitchen sink is your bathroom sink?

Chelsea: FOUND IT! 1:54!!

Emma: Yeah, kitchen sink = bathroom sink. FINE, CHELSEA.

Chelsea: WHAT’D I MISS? YOU DONT HAVE A SINK??

Emma: I have one sink.

Chelsea: WHHHAAAAA? That violates all sorts of health codes. I have to citizen’s arrest you, probably.

Emily: Dude, I almost moved into a place where the tub was in the kitchen.

Chelsea: WHAAAA THAT ISNT REAL.

Emily: It is!

Emma: Yes, it's a thing. My bf lived in a place like that. You're supposed to put a board over it and use it as a table I think.

Emily: I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Did they mention Grand Street in that song?

Emma: Yes, they did!

Emily: Taco Chulo? Is that Grand Street?

Chelsea: They mention cutting the legs off their pants and I LIKE IT. Revolutionary!

Emma: Someone's calling me about billing, I have to go.

Chelsea: EMMA STOP SOCIALIZING.

Emma: Can’t, it’s about "frictionless mobile." Gross. Bye!

Emily: I like a little friction. Otherwise there’s no traction. It's not safe.

Chelsea: One time I said friction was my favorite word and everyone made fun of me.

Emily has signed off.

Emma has signed off.

Chelsea: WHAT A PERFECT WAY TO END THIS CHAT.

So, did you guys totally have a mad, one-person dance party to this song? AWESOME.

Related posts: Click HERE to see all of the Committee of Cool posts!

Topics: Music, Celebs & Stuff
Tags: committee of cool, matt and kim

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.