Love 'Em or Hate 'Em: Tips for Handling Your Teachers
When you go back to the school in the fall, you'll have some control over your relationships with teachers. Whether you prefer hugging them after class or ending every semester with a stare-down is up to you. Here are our tips to getting on your teachers' good or bad sides—whichever you prefer.
Having a love relationship with your teacher does have some drawbacks. Other students will think you’re a big old brownnoser, your teacher will have high expectations for all your work (so no slacking off, people), and you risk actually starting to look like your fave gym instructor, short shorts included. If you think your English teacher is the cat's PJs and you want to become her new, young BBF, then you should:
Eat lunch together. Pack something special and bring it the lunchroom. Separate yourself from your usual cronies, and ask Ms. Mathers if she prefers the turkey sandwich or vegetarian burritos you packed. Over yum-yums, find out why your teacher decided to live a life among teenagers, and how she spends her summers.
Google. Everyone except the delinquents in your class hands in the required work. Go above and beyond by doing homework...on your teacher's past. Did she coach the State Championship badminton team? Did she graduate cum laude from an Ivy? Google to get answers, or carefully toss a birdie at her after class or use a ten-syllable word to gauge her reaction.
Sing her praises. Pay your punk rock band to compose a ballad about Ms. Applebaum, especially her lavender perfume and librarian style, to the tune of “California Gurls.” It goes a little something like this “Ms. Applebaum, she’s unforgettable/Long jean skirt, mom sweater on top/Chem class fun/So hot she'll melt your lab glasses/Oh oh oh oh oh/Oh oh oh oh oh." Play it at the talent show and amaze everyone.
See her every day. Keep a picture of her in your locker.
Obviously, strongly disliking your teacher has its drawbacks, including endless afternoons in detention, poor grades, and possible jail time. But if you’re willing to sabotage your chances of getting into your dream college:
Ruin her lunch. Spray fart spray in the general direction of her desk, where she eats. Stay in the room for lunch, sit at your desk, and look at her the entire time while chomping on loud potato chips.
Sing her praises. Whenever she walks into the room, use your iPhone to play “Brick House.” Extra props if you can get this br0adcast on the PA after giving her a special shoutout. Imitation is not always flattery. Whenever she calls on you and you don’t have any idea what the answer is, repeat exactly what she said in a robot or Russian accents, or just belch.
Get it delivered. Order Pizza Hut during your free period and have it delivered during your discussion of Romantic Literature.
How do you get on your teachers' nerves or make them want to adopt you? Got any awesome tricks? Do share!