My Crush is a Shakespearean Character

Sorry, madra_allta, but we'll always love Romeo—as long as he's played by Leonardo DiCaprio, that is.—Sparkitors

To most people, Shakespeare means one of two things:

He's the most horrifying literary burden a student could ever imagine: his books equal endless translations, tedious syllable-counting, and school plays spent in chaffing tights.

OR

He's one of the greatest and most interesting geniuses of all time; his works provide an endless fountain of gorgeous language, absolutely awesome plots, and best of all, dirty jokes.

Obviously, I fit into the second category, and one of the things I love most about Shakespeare is the men he created.  They're witty, eloquent, hot-tempered, passionate, and downright crush-worthy. Forget about the jock of the football team or the male supermodel; here are the drool-inducing fictional fellows I'm obsessed with:

1.  Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet: Mercutio seems to be the only real man in the whole play.  Actually, scratch that: he's the only intelligent person in the whole play, period. Let's narrow down the field, shall we?  Our two "star-crossed lovers" are too busy wringing their hands at their circumstances to come up with a solution that doesn't involve the possibility of tragic miscommunication, and the Montagues and Capulets are so engrossed in their little sandbox feud that they're completely oblivious to the whole situation. That just leaves us with Mercutio: he's as witty as they come, devilishly handsome (in my own mind), and, of course, smart. Oh, and let's not forget the "I'm-going-to-cram-my-speeches-with-as-many-dirty-jokes-as-I-can" gimmick.

2.  Hamlet from Hamlet: There's just something about mental basket-cases that is so dang attractive. Maybe it's the angst. Maybe it's the fact that they tend to share their innermost secrets with us. In Hamlet's case, it's all of the above. He's brooding and chock-a-block full of inner conflict, making him the quintessential crush for all the angst-lovers out there. Want an added bonus? He's also a prince.

3.  Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream: He's a fairy seasoned with a generous helping of mischief. What's not to love?

4.  Antony from Julius Caesar: I love a man who can stir up a crowd, and this guy is such a great public speaker that he causes a mob to murder an innocent man. It's slightly terrifying, but it's also very sexy.  Plus, you know a man is a keeper when he remains loyal to a boss that constantly refers to himself in the third person. And just think about him oozing pure manliness in full armor while marching with his men to fight Brutus's forces. Yum!

5.  The Bard Himself: Yes, yes, I know that Will isn't in any of his own plays. But look at it this way:  he's obviously Shakespearean (duh) and he IS quite a character, isn't he? So it totally counts. As for the reasons that I love him, please refer back to the beginning of my post, and also kindly remember that this guy writes sonnets that could melt anyone's heart.

Got any crushes on Shakespeare characters? That old guy from The Tempest was pretty foxy, right?

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