A Very Potter Listicle

Thanks to you, Sparklers, your SparkNotes editors spent all of last week in a state of gleeful anticipation over the arrival of "A Very Potter Sequel," the long-awaited followup to the smash hit "A Very Potter Musical."

Unfortunately, thanks to an S.O. who insisted on hogging the computer all weekend in order to watch yet another remix of the double rainbow video, we didn't get a chance to actually watch said followup until now. But man, what a followup it was! There was excitement! Intrigue! Dementor song-and-dance numbers! And, of course, Dolores Umbridge's giant, rippling biceps!

So, to pay tribute to the glory that was AVPS, we've thrown together a little list of our favorite moments from the musical sequel.

Song line which we most wish had made it into the actual HP movies: "I'm Harry FREAKING Potter!" Seriously, how did the big HP make it through six long years at Hogwarts without using this as a retort?

Best mash-up job: The Marauder's Map, the Mirror of Erised, the ghosts of Harry's dead parents, and the revelation of Sirius Black's innocence are all, miraculously, crammed into a single genius song.

Favorite new wizarding world insult: "You're a BUTT TRUMPET!"

Greatest use of a wand for non-magic purposes: Remus Lupin beating a would-be candy cart assassin into submission.

Most inventive reimagining of a character: It's a tie! We can't decide who's funnier—Remus Lupin as a foul-mouthed, pee-drinking homeless person, or Draco Malfoy as a voguing, overemotional ponyboy with Michael Jackson dance moves.

Surprise wardrobe choice: Dumbledore in flip-flops.

Best accent: Dolores Umbridge, whose inflection is equal parts the mother from "A Glass Menagerie," Mister T., and Eric Cartman from South Park.

Best over-the-top Umbridge threat: "I'll rip your pretty little boobs off!"

Character on whom we are most embarrassed to suddenly be crushing: Lucius Malfoy. Um, what the Hogwarts is going on here? The blond-haired baddie is being played by an uber-energetic, vocally gifted dynamo who makes us feel uncomfortably titillated every time he tosses his platinum wig.

Sweetest new romance: The sorting hat finds love with Dumbledore's flamboyant rainbow scarf. Awwwwww.

And finally, the thing we most wish we hadn't seen: It's terrific that Firenze arrives in Act 2, Part 12, in time to keep Umbridge from popping Harry's head off with her bicep... but those pants? Were a mistake. A giant, bulging, lumpy mistake. IF YOU GET OUR MEANING.

Did you love AVPS? Let's hear it!

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