Ney_Ney92 ,we like the way you think. These ideas are GENIUS.—Sparkitors
Next week, my family and I are going to Carolina Beach in North Carolina. My phone does not have internet access, and our condo has no computer, so for 8 days, I. Will. Not. Have. SparkNotes. Obviously, this situation could result in my untimely death, so I've developed a list of ways to make it seem like I'm reading SparkLife on my beach vacation, when in reality, I'm...not.*chokes on tears*
1. Run down the beach screaming"HARRY POTTER IS BETTER THAN TWILIGHT!" Run much faster when a mob of angry Twilight fangirls attacks me.
2. Scream "BAM! FIRST!" whenever I succeed at accomplishing any activity (like finishing dinner or getting knocked unconscious by a wave) before the rest of my family.
3. Introduce myself by saying "Hello, my name is Ney-underscore-Ney-ninety-two." Then insist that everyone, even strangers, waiters, and stray dogs, call me by this name.
4. Take photos of absolutely everything, like dead crabs and crying children, then send every picture to Cute Thing of the Week upon my return home.
5. Make friends with the super-obnoxious people next door ONLY because they have a computer. SPARKLIFE, HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!
6. Pretend every sweaty person I see is Chelsea Dagger. It's summer! This one will be easy!
7. Invite my vacation friends (the ones who haven't yet abandoned me despite my insistence that they refer to me by my Sparkler name) over to watch Jaws and The Notebook. Demand that said friends supply me with tissues as I reminisce about Dan's posts on these movies.
8. Become supremely reclusive and watch ABC Family non-stop in order to catch up on episodes of Pretty Little Liars. It's almost like I'm not missing the recap posts... ALMOST....
9. Whine at my parents that I miss the computer, then pretend their responses are from Auntie Sparknotes.
10. Lie awake all night thinking about a sequel I could write for this post! I'm really going to miss you guys next week—and for those of you whose phones have internet access...that is just not fair.
How do you cope when you can't get on to SparkLife? We imagine there are a lot of tears involved.
Related post: How To Survive an Internet-Free Camping Trip
Topics: Life
Tags: twilight, guides, beach, summer vacation, sparklife, internet access, bam!, pretty little liars, pretty little recaps, bamming
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