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The Virtues of Monty Python

The Virtues of Monty Python

By Contributor

This is Doune Castle in Scotland, famous for being in the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Take it away, ellielikespie! —Sparkitors

Recently, I was in the open thread talking to fellow Sparkler bpotatoe, and realized that my goal in life is to make every person alive a Monty Python lover. I didn’t actually ask her, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that she will “second” the list below. Every so often a movie comes along that is so random, so gut-wrenchingly-laugh-inducing, so perfect, that a nerdy teenager MUST blog about it. Ladies, gentlemen, and undecided (can I say that?) I present to you, MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL! From the minds of Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin comes a movie that has changed my outlook on life.

If you have already seen MPATHG, get ready to giggle awkwardly and think to yourself, “That’s so true!” as you read these Top 10 Side Effects of Watching MPATHG Obsessively:
1. Whenever you're walking to a destination, you will have the urge to break into a gallop and bang two coconuts together. People may look at you strangely, but you know that better men before you have used this method of transportation with great success.

2. The next time you see a coconut in the grocery store, you will mumble the words, “A swallow carrying a coconut? It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut.” You will then consider proposing marriage to the stranger who overhears you and says, “It could be carried by an African Swallow!”

3. Whenever your sibling requests access to your room, you will stand at the entrance screaming “Ni!” and insisting she return with a shrubbery.

4. When you are being bossed around by your parent/teacher/employer, you will accidentally yell the words, “Help, help, I’m being repressed! Do you see him repressing me?!” Or, you will try to gather an angry mob to rally against said parent/teacher/employer, screaming, “She’s a witch!” and making accusations of newt-transformation.

5. Whenever you are injured, you will try to convince those around you that it’s only a flesh wound.

6. Your next encounter with the school bully will involve you saying, “I fart in your general direction” in a French accent.

7. You will shudder with fear at the sight of a bunny.

8. When your mother says, “Bring down your laundry!” you will be inclined to scream back, “Bring out your dead!”

9. You will end every prayer with, “All foes…shall snuff it.”

10. You will understand this ridiculous list.

Why else should the Sparkitors finally get around to watching this movie?

Related Post: Black Knights and Bananas: 40 Years of Monty Python

Wanna write for SL? Write your comedy piece, and send it to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration!

Topics: Entertainment, Celebs & Stuff
Tags: sparkler posts, movies, comedy, monty python

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