Hanging Out With Jazzy: How to Get a Friward

Ahh, the Friward. Who doesn’t want one? It is what all Sparklers aim for most, the greatest honor! Once you have been made a Friampian, your life feels complete.

If you haven't gotten one yet, you might be upset. Luckily, most people on this site are funny, clever, and spectacularly awesome, so getting a Friward is within everyone's realm of possibility. But if you're still having a meltdown, fear no more. Jazzy has a failsafe guide to getting the gold!

1. Flatter the Sparkitors

Everyone loves a good compliment, especially a nerd, so try and slip them into your comment, or just be extremely blunt about your undying love for the editors. It probably works either way.

Example: Some of the songs on this post are amazing! They remind me of the editors—just so beautiful! Actually, however beautiful the songs are, I don’t think they’ll ever match up to the editors; nothing could be more spectacularly ravishingly amazingly wonderful than they!

2. Bribe the Sparkitors

Temptation: we all give into it. Even the Sparkitors. You can tempt them with cheese, sandwiches, nail polish...or cash money.

Example: I got $100 today!! I wonder what to go spend it on…I’m just not in a good enough mood for shopping…perhaps if I were to get a Friward I may be more upbeat and willing to share said money with whoever put me out of my misery?

3. Blackmail the editors

This is real low, and almost impossible to do in some cases, but hey, you want that Friward, don’t you?! The key to this one is to be sly and attentive, and to hit all the right buttons so that it seems like a joke instead of an actual blackmail. You don’t want to get caught by the police.

Example: Great post. I think everyone has taken embarrassing photos at one point in their life! In fact, I was stalking a certain Sparkitor the other day and managed to get some very good pictures, the kind I doubt she would appreciate being made public. Then again, if I had say, a Friward, well, I think my feelings on the matter would be quite different, don’t you?

4. Be genuinely funny!

This one works like a charm. Simply be yourself and exert your comedic side. Use life stories, personal views, whatever you want, and someday it’ll pay off! Admittedly, you aren’t guaranteed to get a Friward—a lot of Sparklers are funny, and Friwards can’t be awarded to everyone—but if you keep at it, pull up your comedy pants and wait, one day you will be rewarded.

Example: What? You expect me to say something funny? Ha! So not happening, haven’t you just read this post? *Incapable of creating any decent humor*

If you want something funny, say it yourself, lazy buggers.

Who wants a Friday Award???

Related Post: What To Do When...You're a Friampion

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