Summer Loving Movies Vs. Your Messy Life

In the movies, it looks so easy to fall in love…especially in the summertime. You make out on blankets on the beach. If you’re lucky, you meet a guy, transfer to his school in the fall, change your sweet image for sassy leather one, and win his heart after the prom. (Grease is the word here, kids.) You share an ice cream cone and let your tongues flirt on top of the scoop, kind of like “Lady and the Tramp,” but with people. These things look effortless on the big screen, but we all know real life is nothing like the movies. If it were, we’d look like R-Patz, have super strength powers, and boast shiny epidermises. You know you'll fail at clichéd movie summer love; the only question is how. Let’s go through some possibilities.

In The Notebook: Remember that super lame scene in the Notebook (yeah, we know there’s a lot of them) when Noah and Allie are hanging out on the beach? During this scene, the rich girl is wearing a cute red bikini and is feeling so liberated because she's dating a poor dude that she starts pretending she’s a bird. “Do you think in another life I could have been a bird?” she asks. “Like reincarnation?” You can probably only get away with this behavior if you look like Rachel McAdams. After flopping about and cawing, the couple make out on the lovely beach as the waves roar in. They then decide they are both in fact birds.
In real life: While your summer lover might be nuts about you because you’re a little bit nuts yourself, when you act like a bird on a date, chances are your BF will find some other chick to create a nest with. If you’re really obsessed with birds, stick with getting a beach towel or a bikini with some birdies on it, play some Bird Man on your boombox, or bring crumbs to feed and tease the seagulls. Try not to get pooped on.

In The Wedding Planner: After Steve saves Mary from a dangerous dumpster on the loose, Mary’s super squeaky friend invites him for a movie in the park. That night, Steve shows up and the two watch an old movie that’s playing in this perfect park. Soon, the two are dancing cheek to cheek under the stars. Things heat up and they are about to kiss—when nature interrupts with rain. Spoiler alert: They get together anyway, and it only takes two more hours!
In real life: If a killer dumpster comes after you, odds are you’re on your own. If you’re lucky, some overweight police officer might save you, but he’s not going to look like the perfectly Rogained Matthew McConaughey. If you and your summer crush make it to a movie in the park this season, let’s face it, he’s probably not going to want to slow dance in front of all those people. You’ll be lucky if he brings you a blanket, offers to share his Raisinettes, or gives you a lousy clammy hand to hold. If he asks you to dance, the most romantic thing he’ll be able to think of is the Macarena.

In Summer Catch: Ryan Dunne and Tenley Parrish meet the summer that Ryan starts pitching for the Cape Cod baseball team. His dreams of making it to the big leagues are interrupted when he falls Tenley, a girl whose lawn he mows (yeah, we know it sounds bad). The first time he sees her in a red bikini, he ruins the family’s hydrangeas. Tenley’s a rich girl just there for the summer and Ryan is poor, so obviously Tenley should date someone else, like Donald Trump. Still, the two strike up a romance, and one rainy night, Tenley brings Ryan to her pool for a late night swim. Stripping down to her t-shirt and undies, she dives into the pool, and Ryan chases her. She gets close to his face underwater, but teases Ryan and swims away. The couple is interrupted when Mr. Parrish wakes up and yells out his window.
In real life: When Jessica Biel strips down into her underwear before jumping into the pool, she looks great. And while your body is banging, when you strip down, you reveal the drawing of a massive pumpkin on your thigh from your babysitting job that morning. We give this lame 2001 movie credit for trying to be “realistic” and having the teen couple get busted for late-night swimming. When you try to pull a late-night swimming stunt in your pool, your dad is probably going to ruin your macking too, so keep it PG-13.

Have you ever attempted to recreate a rom-com summer love moment?

Related post: Summer Love: Your Complete Guide