Characteristics of a Movie Snob

sligers118 is brilliant! A post with a twist! Like The Sixth Sense! —Sparkitors

Recently, there was an extremely amusing and pertinent article posted about music snobs. I shared it with my friends, and it caused much mirth, particularly because one of them is one of the biggest music snobs going (although she does actually like Billy Joel).

But it also made us realize that there is another type of snob lurking in today’s society. This type is much harder to spot; there is no set dress code, and people who fit the type form no alliances. However, if you know exactly what to look for, there are some surefire ways to know you’ve found yourself a member of that secretive breed, The Movie Snob:

• The Movie Snob has seen a ridiculous number of films, many of which are from their parents' and grandparents' eras. They will always argue that these movies were better/funnier/more realistic than any remake that may have come along, even if they haven’t actually seen the original version, or the new one. (The Producers, anyone?)

• It's hard to find a film that a movie snob enjoys. At the mention of almost any film title, a movie snob will say, “I saw it. It wasn’t that good,” and then launch into an explanation of why this is so. Anyone who doesn’t agree with her is clearly an idiot.

• Conversely, if a movie snob does enjoy a film, he will insist that everyone he knows go and see it. He will become personally offended if you do not like it, especially if you watch it with him and don’t laugh at all the right times.

• Having seen so many movies (and watched them over and over), the movie snob begins to see patterns in everything she watches, and all but the best movies become increasingly predictable. She often makes statements like, “That was in slow-motion," "He’s dead,” or, “Well, he’s definitely going to be the first one to ride the giant bird.” (*cough cough* Avatar.) She will become incredibly smug whenever her guesses turn out right (and conveniently develop amnesia when they’re wrong).

• An experienced movie snob will be able to guess the entire plot of a movie merely from the trailer/a clip/title, and then forever relate stories of when this last happened. He will also find this incredibly funny.

• Movie snobs have no problem watching a film in black and white, or in a foreign language (with subtitles, of course), and will tell you so at any given opportunity.

• A movie snob will get annoyed if... a) you haven't seen a movie he/she deems a classic (such as Back to the Future) or b) you have a list of favorite films that looks like this: When Harry Met Sally, Good Luck Chuck, and What Happens in Vegas.

How do I know all this, you ask in awe? (That was awe, right? It wasn’t a yawn or anything?) Well, the answer is, plain and simple, that I am one of the biggest movie snobs going—and I’m proud of it. Why shouldn’t I go into films with ridiculously high expectations, and be disappointed nearly every single time? What’s wrong with wanting people to have good taste in films? Why shouldn’t I be proud of guessing the twist in The Sixth Sense? (I had been told that there was a twist that I would never ever guess, and who can resist a challenge like that?)

The list of favorite films in that last bullet point is the actual list of my best friend—and she’s the Music Snob. I have "Morning Has Broken" on my iPod, and it kills her. Go figure.

What kind of snob are you?

Related Post: The Music Snob vs. The Movie Snob

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