Bees: Hum, hum, hmmm... OOH! IT'S A PERSON! Let's hover near her ear, until she notices us. Hello? AHHH! SHE'S SWATTING! MAYDAY, MAYDAY! Whew, that was close. Okay, let's hover just a little farther away, so it looks like I'm leaving. Now she's relaxing... she's calm... aaaaand... NOSE-DIVE TOWARD HER EYEBALL! EVADE! EVADE! SWATTING HANDS! SCREAMING! HA, HA, HA, HA! Another successful day. Boy, I sure could use some pollen.
Ants: Am I the only one who smells sandwiches? Or maybe a Cliff Bar? Let's explore this. Why don't six or seven hundred of you guys follow me? Not too many, or we could get caught. Oh heck, everyone come along. I want to spend some quality time with my favorite army of siblings. Is that so much to ask? Where are we going? Just through this all-concealing grass. Across this picnic blanket. Onto this girl's toe. Up her foot. Onto her knee. HELLO, YOUNG WOMAN! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK DOWN FROM YOUR BIG GULP AND ADMIRE MY MANDIBLES! Hm, I don't think she can hear me. Maybe she doesn't speak Hymenoptera. Guys, I don't think she's gonna give us any f00— UGGGH! SOMETHING HIT ME! I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING! DO YOU GUYS SEE THIS?! AHHHHH! Huh, I'm still alive. What do ya know. Am I the only who smells sandwiches?
Spider: Seriously? NOW you're screaming and running around your bedroom? Do you have any idea how long I've been up in the corner? My grandpappy wove this web nearly three years ago, and I'm the third generation of Araneidae to live in these here threads. So don't get freaked out because I'm here. Get freaked out because you never noticed. Oh, now you're bringing a broom? Do you have any idea how many flies I've gotten rid of on your behalf? (Okay, they were delicious, too, but can't this be mutually beneficial? Sheesh.) OH, NICE SHOT! YOUR AIM IS TERRIBLE! AND YOU'RE TWO FEET TOO SHORT! It's a good thing they didn't think to bring a chair... oh, no, wait, there it is. Well, I guess this is curtains. Good thing I laid a few thousand eggs in your pillow. Sucker.
Praying Mantis: Well, I never. All I wanted to do was spend a few days sitting on a leaf, and what happens? Now I'm trapped in a glass jar with Thorneraxivelash, Jr. We may be solitary creatures, but most of us have a choice about it—Thorneraxivelash, Jr. is just lame. Look at the way he anxiously squeaks his legs together. So tacky. And what are we supposed to do in here? Does that kid really think sticking a leaf and twig in here is going to convince us that we're outside? Honestly. Wait—the kid's coming back! Maybe he'll let us go. Hello! Do you see the desperate way I'm pawing the glass? That means I'm want to get out! Hello? HELLO? Wait! No! Don't SHAKE US! Stop! STOP! I GET MOTION SICKNESS!
Lightning Bug: AHHHH! AHHHH! I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THESE HANDS! PLEASE LET ME GO! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC! OH, GOD, I JUST WANT THIS TO BE OVER!
Lady Bug: Oh, did you notice me? Right here on your thumb? Aren't I just stunning? I polished my voluptuous red exoskeleton just for you, you know. Let me show you my favorite move: To inch forward a few steps and then stop, then spread my wings a little. You like that, don't you? You naughty 6-year-old. Well, I suppose I must be going. But people tell me this is my loveliest trait. Ready? I'm going to open my wings, leap off your thumb, and glide effortlessly through the air. One... two... three... and AWAY! OH, YOU LIKE ME! YOU REAAAALLY LIKE ME!
What are other bugs thinking?
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