The Friday Awards

HAPPY SUMMER, Sparklers!!!

Okay, technically it's not summer til June 21, but a lot of you Sparklers are already done with school, AND we've got something summery going on in the SparkNotes office—a new summer intern!

Sparklers, give a warm welcome to Sarah, who helped scour comments this week to bring you...

THE FRIDAY AWARDS!

Happy Belated Birthday to synchrogirl117, Laurie<3, Kachup78, columbusbabe, TheBrickman75, Tigress_118, and Musical_Sage!!!

Happy Birthday BrightSparky406!!!

Good Question (that Sparkitors Don't Know the Answer to) Points go to MissLovegood for this comment on The Seven People You'll Meet in Orchestra...

also, why do the smiley/sad faces on here have eyebrows?

:p

If they're going to have eyebrows they should have noses too.

Nickname of the Week goes to curiouser_and_curiouser.

Fantastic *New* Collective Noun Awards go to...

muffinsarejustbetter for...

I'm sure that a thread of Sparklers were amazed at this. We offer our profound thanks to the magic of Sparkitors!

The_Drum_Minor for....

An angst of teens.

A discovery of Hufflepuffs (they make particularly good FINDers, after all)

An ego of trumpeters.

A headache of percussionists.

crazygirllovesart for...

a shush of librarians

a cutting of gardeners

a keyboard of nerds

a palette of artists

a stud of punks

lol. I like this post  XD

OnomatopoeiaPalindrome for...

a stomp of bigfoots (bigfeet?)

a game of athletes

a splatter of painters

a note of musicians

awesomtastic post!

Yearbook Signature Awards (for the best made-up sigs from If Famous Writers Signed Your Yearbook) go to...

gypsy_princess for...

this modern education system ruins the exotic fruit that is our pure, simple ignorance. I hope the future glows for you with a light that is never extinguished, even without our beautiful stupidity.

Artistically,

Oscar Wilde.

Have a good future in this totalitarian, doomed world.

George Orwell.

oliveoil5047 for...

Have an amazing summer full of love. Mushy, cliched, romantic, rarely-found love.Just remember this, though,PEOPLE DIE (especially people in love)So stock up on the Kleenex!

Love,

Nicholas Sparks

TeenAuthorsForTheWin for...

I hope you meet your mortal enemy, fall in love in five seconds, get married the next day, and then all die!

With lots of crude humor,

W. Shakespeare

travelgirl53 for...

it was the best of years, it was the worst of years, it was the age of A+'s, it was the age of F's, it was the epoch of learning, it was the epoch of forgetting, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope and flip-flops, it was the winter of despair and heavy jackets; we had 180 days before us, we had 3 days before us, we were all going direct to ivy leagues, we were all going direct to community college - in short, the year was so far almost exactly like any other year we've ever had together.

Hoping you wild coincidences,

Charles Dickens

essi54 for...

YOU DON’T SEE PEOPLE AT THEIR BEST IN THIS SCHOOL. THEY NEVER LAST LONG, EVEN IF THEY DO SURVIVE. NOT EVEN I AM AN EXCEPTION. HOPEFULLY NOT MEETING YOU ON THE DISC THIS SUMMER,

DEATH (Aka, Terry Pratchett).

charred_rose11 for...

As I ran my pale, soft hands over the creamy white pages of this perfect yearbook, I took my beautiful fountain pen, to write in curving letters on the pale marble pages: Have an angsty summer.

-Stephanie Meyer

ThePlottingNovelist for...

All that is homework does matter,

Not all those who fail you are cross.

Remember I saw when you kissed her,

Crowded hallways are the bane of the lost.

From the finals a grade shall be chosen,

A day at year's end brightly gleam,

Renewed shall be textbook unopened,

And the hopeless at graduation will sing.

-J.R.R.Tolkien

I had to do it. One of my favorites.

Pookafalicious for...

I hope you connect with nature this summer......

Transcendentally,

Henry David Thoreau

Elena28 for...

Burn your bras! Rebel against dresses! Reject stereotypical female roles! And tell the men it's THEIR fault the educational system is so screwed up!

Truly not yours (or anyone elses),

Mary Wollstonecraft

jtjuvenile for...

I will remember you as much as i remember to surf online for jetpacks (never) and i enjoyed being lab pardners with you as much as i enjoy flexing my calves and always walking away disappointed! Thanks for those pizza bagels, they made my day.

You are my life now,

Dan Bergstein

P.S Dissing marcus (giggle) was fun. (giggle)

P.P.S I'm having a wanna-be werewolf party. If you have jetpacks, bring them.

flameychicky for...

My best wishes to you as you divagate into the interminable void of oblivion and moral depravity, also known as adulthood; guard your weary beacon of innocence against the Stygian darkness of the visceral urges of our ancestors.

Superfluously,

Joseph Conrad.

darthvortex for...

Old Sport,

If yearbook signatures are an unbroken series of meaningless compliments, then I hope you can find something gorgeous about mine. If you feel like criticizing it, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. I hope you don't meet another bad driver!

Snobbishly (but honestly),

F. Scott Fitzgerald

P.S. The other yearbook signers are a rotten crowd--you're worth the whole damn bunch put together!

Reflecting on Blogging Eclipse Points go to...

Coffinmaker for...

*clap clap clap clap*

Hurray for you, Dan! You've been awesome since birth, but actually having the mental fortitude to read these three books has made you double-amazing (like Jacob's double-emo, but better.)

Now, next are you going to blog the ingredients of a ketchup packet?

MarauderPrincess for...

I love you, Dan. *hugz*

Y'know what's really kinda creepy? The Sparkitors are like, psychic or something.

Seriously, at the end of this, I was about to start crying. I'm not kidding. Not just cause it was so funny, but because I've gotten used to having my weekly Blogging Eclipse, and now we're moving on to Breaking Dawn. The last book! How I shall miss my Blogging Tw*l*ght when it's all over with

*hugz Dan again*

LOTR_junkie6 for...

*sighs* How does an authour use "murmur" ninety-five times in one book. Ninety-five??? For the love of the Valar, somebody get Smeyer a thesaurus. And the Oh-so-handy-dandy-how-many-ways-can-I-describe-Edweird-Cullen's-( nonexistent)hotness-handbook doesn't count either.

LOL Points to...

jtjuvenile for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Whispering Secretfriends

My girlfriends and I dubbed that absorbs-bodily-fluids-mass-of-cotton as the big T. Not all that creative, but it does serve the purpose of not flaunting our female-ness around.

It usually goes like this:

Girl 1: Hey, got any Big Ts to spare?

Girl 2: *hands it over*

Guy 1: What's Big T?

Girl 2: Toliets, dum-dum. She needs to pinch a loaf.

Guy 1: Er. Okay.

As for the letter writer, i totally get you. My guy friends used to go, "Shush, let the men talk. Go scamper off and play." when they wanted to talk about uh, male stuff. It sucks, but don't worry too much about it.

fuzzyblulightz for this comment on Cultivate Your Own Superpowers

I know how you can get all of these superpowers and more!

Be in a book by Stephanie Meyer.

Warning: Do not attempt if you are pregnant, or may become pregnant. Side-effects may include moodiness, over-protectiveness, and annoyingness.

Denisey94 for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Cheating Tom or Mary Sue?

Wow, that just sounds like teamwork to me, and if your not cheating then your not trying.

~too~ for this comment on A Day in the Life of a Sparkler’s Cat

haha did anyone else notice that the percentages didn't add up to 100%? they add up to 112%! maybe a cats day is just that much more awesome

RustyApplesauce for this comment on the same post...

My cat specializes in the subtle art of involuntarily ejecting the undigested contents of her stomach at high-speed velocity. Gah.

mistressmystery for this comment on Committee of Cool: Jape...

that's pretty epic, did any one else get the hidden messages? peas on the head = pea brain? coconuts on milk = coconut milk!!! theres like a whole dan brown novel wrapped up in here...

synchrogirl117 for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: I Keep on Falling... No, Not In Love. Just Falling...

Yesterday I was running on a treadmill at the Y when my crush came in... I kind of partially stepped on the side of the thing and stumbled, and my iPod fell off the tray, then I tried to stop the machine so I could get my iPod, but I was all wobbly after running for so long, so I was falling all over the place... yeah, it was embarassing.

vingland for this comment on The SparkNotes Gleecap: Episode 21 (Funk)...

My math teacher is pregnant. She can't bend over. My aunt is also pregnant. She's also a high school gym coach. But right now she can't move fast and vigorously. That's not good for the baby.

See where I'm going?

Quinn's mama-friends look like they're nine months pregnant already. And they move like... UP-DOWN-TURNAROUND! I DON'T GIVE A ROTTEN BERRY ABOUT MY BABY!!! YEEEHAWW!!!

*Amadeus for this comment on How to Swim...

Pah. Swimming is overrated.

---

So is breathing.

Alicecourts for this comment on the same post...

That was quite helpful.

My friend's father threw him into the middle of a lake in order to teach him how to swim. It worked.

lia.lovegood for...

Dan, when you said "a low-flying, yet very, very dense cloud." did you mean fog? You meant fog right? Am I right? I am right.

Blissical for...

Whenever I attempt to swim, the water goes in my mouth and nose and eyes. And to be frank all of the open passage ways to my insides are very irritable. Give me a full face scuba diving mask, some Kate Nash and empty swimming pool(With no kids to piss in it) and a burkini, thats right not bikini,burkini. Then ill be swimming like a pro in no time. Ill be like lightning bolt on the water. Those two dont mix very well do they?

ThePlottingNovelist for this comment on The Seven People You'll Meet in Orchestra...

Yay for orchestra!!! With all the snobby firsts (I'm a first), those shy seconds and the violas who think they are awesome!! We have three award-winning orchestras here... But there are more types than that:

The Bows Master

This violinist is extremely good with his bow. Well...not really. More like he will try to murder the rest of the section with his weapon of mass destruction. Standpartners be warned, you will want a shield. Or switch to string bass.

The Empty Ears

These musicians (shall we call them that?) have no sense of pitch whatsoever. But they plow through the music so happily, no one can help but like them anyway. They will always come to concerts prepared, and can be relied on to supply an extra set of music if you are in a bind.

Emberlynn54 for this comment on the same post...

haha these people are also in band but the only difference is sometimes the virtuosos are widly hated *glares at first saxaphone player*

we even have a stinky one this year, although she has a really good flute, it doesn't make sense, but lucky for all those who sit by her she is absent all the time

KelseyS18 for...

Being a violist, I know you were spot on about the viola jokes. I always ask though, why violas? This question may never be answered.

Musical_Sage for this comment on How to Be a Diva...

How to be a Diva? That sounds like some show name. Hey, if J. Lo ever needs a job, she can always host a new show, "How to be the Ultimate Diva", where every season someone "competes" to be the next "Ultimate Diva".

Please, I was joking. Don't give her any ideas.

fuzzyblulightz for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Your Parents Are Doing the Bang-Bang

I think my parents have become ninjas at doing this when me or my siblings are around, because we never leave yet I know they do it.

How do I know this?

My mom believes in being really open with me. -.-

dairymilk42 for this comment on the same post...

My room is next to my mum and dad's room and I can HEAR IT! Like every sunday at about 7! It's like- "SHUT UP PLEASE?!?!?!!!!!"

Butterfly.Ears for...

I totally agree with the knocking. I used to randomly go to my parents room without prior warning, only to find them in various stages of undress.i learnt my lesson. Now i knock loudly, WAIT FOR PERMISSION TO ENTER and then proceed.

katinsd for this haiku (a requirement for Geminis) from the June Horoscopes...

Marilyn Manson.

Scarier than pink robots.

He will eat your face.

elizabethhorn for this haiku...

Robots spin around

Nuts and bolts fall like raindrops

Raindrops that cause pain

nonickname34 for this addition to Confused Substitute Teacher Summarizes MORE Classic Literature

The Old Man and the Sea.

Okay, so there's this old guy from Puerto Rico. No, maybe he's from Costa Rica. Or maybe the Dominican Republic? I dunno, anyway, this guy is OLD. And he's unlucky. Like really, REALLY unlucky. He hasn't caught a fish in like eighty days, which is wierd because he's a fisherman. He also likes baseball and this little boy. So then he goes fishing and he talks to himself a lot. He calls a jellyfish a whore which is pretty wierd. Then he catches a fish. A really, REALLY big fish, which is supposed to symbolise something but I forget what. Maybe his love for baseball or the little boy. So he catches the fish but the starving townspeople eat it all and all he has left is a skeleton.

Moral of the story: Fishing is really boring and pointless. I wnet fishing once with my uncle and I din't catch anything so, yeah, fishing sucks.

hlucero06 for this addition...

Anne of Green Gables

"I only remember parts of it from when I read it, but I was eating, so some of the pages go filled with food. Anyways, this orphan girl Anne moves in with grouchy Marilla and Matthew, who don't' let her have any fun. I mean, all she want's to do is like, have adventures and name things and stuff. She gets into trouble a lot, but I mean turning your hair green and putting medicine into cakes isn't SO bad. It's not like she was caught making out with a monkey... **awkward silence**Moving on..."

one25centpiece for...

Ethan Frome:

There's a cripple, and then he's not a cripple because it's a symbolic miracle of God! No, wait, they went back in time. So he's a time traveller? Cool. Anyway, Doctor Ethan Who hates his wife, I think, and then he finds another chick and then there's something about a bell jar? No, wait, wrong book. Its... a pickle dish. What's a pickle dish? Apparently it's important because Wifey gets mad and Doctor Frome goes sledding. Then I think he and the other girl run in to a tree. On purpose? But then he's crippled again because he went forwards in time. I wish I could do that. But anyway.

Moral: Figure out what a pickle dish is. And don't go sledding in a forest?

If I were a sub, I would say that. That's all I got out of EF except for the fact that the pickle dish represents sex. EVERYTHING REPRESENTS SEX. Or Jesus. But a sub wouldn't know this, only my supermeganotreallyfoxybecausethat'screepyawesomecool teacher.

I hope someone noticed my broken, weird AVPM reference.

museoftomorrow for this comment on Marching Band 101
@The_Drum_Minor: I bow down to your superior name.

I was just having a 'who has the funniest/worst band experiences' competition with a guy at my school (I won).

-My first band practice I tripped on a speed bump (we were practicing parade marching, and our parking lot has a lot of those). My section leader had to step out of the ranks she was laughing so hard. Also on my first band practice, a bee flew up my clarinet, causing me to scream, except no one was playing, we were standing at attention. The whole band got to see AND hear my antics of shaking the bee out of my clarinet. Worst. Practise. EVER.

-On my first tour we went to Pasadena for the Rosebowl parade(a pretty big deal being in a Canadian band). Unfortunately, I was sitting next to 'Baby'(no joke, that's his name) who has the hairiest chest I have ever seen and hope to ever see. And he was sweaty. And he snored. Worst. Seatbuddy. EVER.

-Until my next tour, when we spent a day on a bus when I was sitting next to a guy who insisted on telling me EVERYTHING about his girlfriend, while being taught how to braid by a friend. The model (who got to get poked in the head for the day)? Me. Worst. Bus ride. EVER.
-Then we went to Japan. I sat next to a guy that all of my friends were having a fight with (well, I was too, now that I think of it). The fastener on my pants broke, and I couldn't undo them, so he had to HELP ME. ZOMG. (And he was hot too... I mean, it was like 35 degrees Celsius plus, so of course he was over heated, but like, this boy is GOOD LOOKING). I have not spoken to him since that tour. Worst. Uniform change. EVER.

ahh... Marching band. It's the only reason why I'm in concert band (we are required to be in both, otherwise there wouldn't be enough people in either class).

lost_in_mirkwood for this comment on the same post...

So, funny band story, like there's such a thing as an unfunny one, but anyway. I was drum majorette this year and because my hair isn't long enough I had the joy of wearing one of these clip on extensions, known as the dead cat, that had the misfortune of being about 10 shades lighter than my actual hair when it was slicked back to keep the flyaways in line. So at the buses getting ready at the last competition my clip broke and I had no way of fixing it, or replacing it in time. With the help of the color guard and their unending supply of bobby pins and hairspray we plastered the dead cat to my hair in hopes of keeping it on for the duration of the show. Well, at the climax of the marching show, horns blaring, flags flying, intense, omg-this-is-the-greatest-sound-I've-ever-heard moment, I do my grand cut off and zooom! There goes my dead cat, flying off the podium and all of my crazy hair goes poofing out. It took everything for the band to stand at attention and for me to keep a straight face as I walked of the podium and off the field.

Greatest moment ever. Plus, we won the competition.

Coral107 for...

This is completely unrelated, but a fly just committed suicide and flew against my desk and died....

kalex12345 for this comment on Hints that People Don't Like Your Friend...

I find it funny that "Kate" is the girl being hated in this article. I'm currently reading "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck, and the character Kate is this novel's representation of Satan in the Book of Genesis lol

CONGRATS, FRIAMPS!