It’s been a long year—not just for you, but for your teachers. Ms. Bishop deserves a break; she didn't say anything, but she knows you stuck your earwax-covered fingertips into her coffee mug when she left the room. You know who else deserves some time off? Mr. Williams, that teacher whose stapler constantly goes “missing” and magically winds up on one of the hands of the ceiling fan. And so does Ms. Wendell, especially after a certain somebody found scandalsauce photos and created a super public and super sexy Facebook profile for her.
When they're not sewing up little voodoo dolls, here's what your teachers are doing this summer (while you’re busy playing in the pool and plotting new ways to make the next school year awesomely terrible):
- Your quirky math teacher with the awesome barrettes is taking an improv class at your local community theater. She’s trying to come up with better material so she won’t have to make up more lame jokes about Mathletes getting girls’ “numbers” at their weekend competitions. She also hopes to meet a man with a nerdy sense of humor and an affinity for right angles with whom she can one day practice the ritual of multiplying each other and adding additions to their home.
- After being subjected to much ridicule about her style, especially for her favorite choice of clothing, the infamous Canadian tuxedo, Ms. Bishop is going to get a side job at J. Crew so she can afford cute clothes on the pittance she makes drinking ear-waxed coffee. She’s also going to walk her dog and drink chilled white wine on her porch before making phone calls to her ex-husband in Myrtle Beach.
- Your English teacher, Mr. Williams, is also known as GrandMaster Stories and is actually a semi-famous local author frequently published in local lit publications. He hosts a literary reading at a pub on the north side of the city, and it turns out, he’s actually considered cool in those parts even though he often wears berets. Each month, he picks a group of local authors to read their stories and then everyone drinks beer. When you get old enough to appreciate writing for fun and not just for A’s, you might want to see if he’ll bury the stapler hatchet and let you read a short story live in front of an audience of twenty-somethings.
- Your gym teacher is going to spend the summer with the boyfriend she met on Match.com at his condo in Fort Meyers Beach. She plans on eating lots of fish, running each day, and falling in love so that she has something to look forward to other than making her students run extra sprints.
- After her provocative Facebook profile garnered extra attention from the local firemen, Ms. Wendell is going to teach at an Amish summer school in rural Pennsylvania. She plans to spend exactly no time on the computer, but rather read books under shady trees in a long skirt. She will try her best to get hired there fulltime in the fall so that she doesn’t have to come back to your town and teach chemistry. Commanding the attention of a class is a bit difficult if everyone in the room has seen pictures of you in a leather miniskirt at a motorcycle convention. And the leather skirt was the least of her problems. I mean, you saw the dude she was with, right?
What are you doing this summer? Do you think you’ll run into any of your teachers?
Related post: How to Handle Teachers in Public
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