The Friday Awards

What's it like to get a Friday Award? ellielikespie knows, and she blogged her Friday Award to get you PUMPED for today's serving...

Friday 12:15 p.m.: Can’t think of a Twitter username. Elliephant? EllieBeans? ElliesWhirrled?

12:17 p.m.: Curse the Twitteverse! Elliephant is taken! Fine…*grumbles*

12:30 p.m.: Can’t wait to go home and check SparkLife…again.

1 p.m.: Is it obsessive to love SparkLife more than most of your family members? Let’s go with “no.”

4 p.m.: *Dreams of sister’s eye’s freezing so she would get off the computer.*

4:09 p.m.: Finally! *Checks SparkLife* Drat! It isn’t up yet.

4:11 p.m.: *Refreshes page*

4:11:26 p.m. seconds: *Refreshes page*

4:19 p.m.: *Refreshes page* Oh god…I want a Friday Award so badly. *prays* “Dear God, If you convince Emily to give me an award, I’ll stop short-sheeting my sister’s bed. And eat my vegetables. Do you take bribes?”

4:20 p.m.: Crap. Just realized I’m sweating.

4:21 p.m.: Crap. Just realized I forgot to put on deodorant.

4:30 p.m.: FINALLY! SHE POSTED IT! *Start’s reading through each comment* …*can’t sit through the anticipation and starts looking for my own name*

4:30 p.m. and 10 seconds: AHHHHHH!!! I WON, I WON, I WON! *gasps…realizes I won TWO Friday Awards!*

4:30 p.m. and 40 seconds: Oh my goodness! I’m so happy I could fly! *tries* *fails*

4:31 p.m.: *sends thoughts of happiness, prosperity, and Philly cheese steaks towards the Sparkitors* I should be a good Sparkler and congratulate everyone.

Did that get you ready?! ARE YOU READY?!?!? We are. We're excited. You guys make us LOL til we cry, and cry til we squee, and squee til we pee, and then Miss Marm has to come over and help us get normal again. Anyway, heeeeeeere we go!:

Happy Future Birthday to 1smartBabe!

Happy Belated Birthday to Feathery_Snidget and Jetpack_Werewolf!

Nickname of the Week (for embodying end-o-year apathy) is betsyblahblah

Dan Fan Awards go to the following Sparklers for their comments on A Guide to Dan Day...

hannahrama for...

These are all completely brilliant! I am (without a doubt) printing out all 400 pages of Dan's blog posts (I converted them all to pdf for easy printing and access) (with credit) and reading them on the 14 hour airplane while wearing my newly created Team Dan shirt. How about all of you?

DAN-BAM [top 50] [ ]

museoftomorrow for...

[In deep booming voice:]

And so on this day June the 30th of the year 2010, the Sparklers did descend upon the streets of the mundane, Bergstein-less fools. They garbed themselves in obnoxiously coloured apparel with such slogans as "Team Emmett", "Team Seth" "Team E-Rock" and "Team the Walrus". They did pronounce such obscenities as "I want to touch your face so hard" and "Special hugs". And they did indeed flex their calf muscles to no end, with no results but the requirement of their on hand jetpacks.

[In regular, if sing-song voice:]

I'm so excited!

Let's Set the Record Straight Awards go to the following Sparklers for their comments on  Thank-You Card Don'ts: Graduation Party Edition

Moonie92 for...

Dear Sparklers,

I live in Kentucky. We do not marry our third cousins. Or second and first cousins for that matter. AND WE DO NOT GO BAREFOOT ALL THE TIME. And I hate KFC.

Love,

Moi.

Phew. It felt good to get that outta my system. xD

and 2emalha for...

@ moonie92, germeinhardtgirl and maidenwarrior, I know how you guys feel I live in Switzerland and I do not own a cow, yodel, make watches and am not best friends with Heidi...

The Awesome Names Awards go to the following Sparklers for their comments on Bad Pet Names: A Helpful Questionnaire

opaquetangerine...

There are lots of stray cats that hang around my house and my sister and I like to name them all. First off is The Mothership - so called because she has had many kittens. one of her kittens is called Captain Kirk (Kirky).There are other cats called Einstein,Fabio, Chutney, Round, Biscuits. We like to name things.

mycatiscool7 for...

Another story: My brother and sister and I each got a goldfish when we were little. My brother had yet to learn how to talk, so when asked what he wanted to name his fish, he replied "Ungh."

That stupid fish lived for three years.

RIP Ungh.

and charred_rose11 for...

For some reason, I don't like it when pets are named with real names. Why name a pet Mary or Bob, when you can name it ANYTHING, like King McAwesomenessburger, or Snozzberry*? Although, It's ok if it's named after a literary character...

*I do not have any pets named these names. But I wouldn't mind naming my pets these...

LOL Points to...

ThePlottingNovelist for this comment on 20 Things We Don't Understand About Mario...

Peach is a fine example of being lazy. I mean, who lets themselves be kidnapped over and over again? I think she really has a secret crush on Bowser and is just trying to kill Mario off.

*Amadeus for this comment on the same post...

Answer to all: The Mario World is just a dream of some poor, messed up, hopeful Italian plumber that abuses drugs and alcohol at the same time. It's true. It's the sad, sad truth

semperspes for this comment on the same post..

Question 15: Vulgar Answer: The Princess hides her army in her butt. So when Bowser captured her, he captured her army too.

jewbiegirl for this comment on the Noncommital Yearbook Signatures post...

In grade six the kid who I had a HUUUUGGEEE crush on just signed his name. And he spelled it wrong.

Denisey94 for this comment on DOs and DON'Ts if You've Gotten Lost...

This was quite helpful, although since I don't leave my house I am in no danger of getting lost, except when I go through the inter-dimensional portal in my closet to Narnia in which case this article is very applicable.

60s_Sweetheart for this comment on the same post...

I don't have any horrible lost stories, but there WAS this one time I strayed away could from my mom in a grocery store. She went to the place where the rambling man makes announcements about discounted toothpicks and stuff, told him I was lost, and asked if he could be all like "little girl who is doomed to be stuck in the supermarket forever, please come meet your mother at the rambling man's place" over the speakers. My mom freaked out when I didn't show up after 15 minutes, but I actually didn't hear the announcement. I was busy listening to music on my iPod, because AC/DC is too awesome.

Meggoyoyoyo for...

I occasionally get lost when I drive, but the time I find myself the most lost is when I watch Lost

DarkRose11 for this comment on Inappropriate Laughter: How to Get a Grip on Your Guffaws...

Usually I bite my tongue. Or think of something sad. Like how three quarters of the teenage population want vampire boyfriends. That just makes me want to cry in my bedroom corner and I lose faith in future generations.

fitzgeraldfan841 for this comment on the post Rebel Analyzes Your Favorite Cartoons...

The Rugrats: Parenting begins at birth

Who said that plopping down a group of babies in a playpen was an effective method of containing them? As Angelica so often portrays, these parents have no idea what their kids are really up to. If your kids can be corrupted at such a young age, you hae bigger problems then baby formula. Over-protective folks aside, this show is really a lesson for adults masked as a cute cartoon.

snowangel1794 for this comment on the post How to Break Up with Almost Anyone...

A 5th grader I babysat used this line to break up with her "boyfriend":

"A relationship is like a pair of dirty sock. Sometimes, they get worn out."

Conspired2 for this comment on the same post...

Meh...not all Trekkies like Vulcans. I would go with, "Captain's Log: I'm flushing you out of my life."

apricotshorts for...

orchestra geek: you're such a harp - too many strings attached

gypsy_princess for...

oh yeah, and of course, the writer;

Roses are red

violets are blue

Sugar is sweet and so are you,

But the roses have wilted

The violets are dead

The sugar bowl's empty

And so is your head.

iluvfacetouching for this comment on My Crush is a Villian...

Well, I'm not sure this is right, because isn't Raoul the villian?

And the real villian of Batman is Batman himself?

A Joe Walker is the most amazingest person ever?

This post should be titled "My Crush is a Hottie McHotterson Who Is Misunderstood but Occasionaly Acts Out in Anger While Being the Real Hero in The End"

neomaxizoomdwbi for this comment on How To Convince People You're Smarter Than You Actually Are...

I carry around The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, tuck my shirt into my pants, and my pants into my nice, clean white socks. I also put on large, thick glasses, So what if I can't see anything? I just tell people I'm too busy disproving the theory of relativity to pay attention to where I'm going. I also made braces out of staples and paper clips, just to seem that much more intellegent.

procrastinate_13 for this comment on A Guide to Dan Day...

Dan Day, saying things with sarcasm hands raised;

I've always wanted to ask, which hand is the sarcasm hand?? I assume it's the left since you solemnly swear in court with the right hand raised. If the right hand is the sarcasm hand then there must be a LOT of lying on the witness stand!

emMCie for this comment on the open thread for May 27...

For my final Psychology exam, my teacher told me to bring "my heart and a pencil" Either we're doing some unconventional surgery, or this test is a breeze...

Congrats, Friamps!