Where Have All the Good Movie Songs Gone?

Tonight at 8 p.m. (EST) I’ll be live-blogging Ghostbusters on Twitter and Facebook as part of the spectacular SparkNotes Movie Club. (Side note: I think it’s awesome that Ghostbusters is in my computer’s spell-check system.) Even if tonight will be your first time watching the flick, you’re probably familiar with the line “Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!” It’s a classic made famous by the cheesy/wonderful Ghostbusters theme song.

Back in the 1980s, a lot of movies had their own pop songs. Some of our favorites:

Footloose
Full disclosure: I’ve never seen Footloose in its entirety. (I assume it’s about a prosthetic leg.) But growing up, you couldn’t escape the song unless you lived under a rock, and even then you would find yourself muttering something about Sunday shoes even if you have no idea what it meant.

St. Elmo’s Fire
Of all the songs on the list, this is the best one to listen to as you drive through a rainstorm or desert. The movie is all right, but the song is 100% amazing.

The NeverEnding Story
The song is about dreaming, or something. No one really pays attention to the lyrics. The only important part is the chorus, and when that comes on, you must belt it out for the world to hear, or else moonchildren die. (That is the plot of the movie, right? It’s been a few years since we saw it.)

Pretty in Pink
Can anyone tell what he’s singing except for the chorus? Who cares? It’s catchy.

We could go on and on about great music from 80’s movies. But we won’t. Instead, we wonder why this trend died. Theme songs are sometimes better than the movies themselves. So why has Hollywood turned its back on such songs and given us crappy, derivative Nickleback tunes that have nothing at all to do with the movie?

There was a song in Avatar by Leona Lewis, but that song was called “I See You” and could have been about anything. You could stick that song at the end of any romantic movie, or movie about someone with special needs overcoming obstacles, and it would have the same effect. Instead, Leona should have sung a song called “Avatar” that included the lyrics:

I fly on a dragon thing
And it’s all cool!
I’m in 3-D now.
But you can’t touch me fool!

You see the point? Movie songs these days have nothing to do with the movies they are a part of. The Twilight soundtracks sell zillions of copies, but is there any song on the album called “Twilight,” and does that song feature a poppy chorus that goes like this?

Your Light!
My Light!
We join together as we Twilight…into the love place!
Twilight…in a cold embrace!
Twilight…let me touch your face!
Twilight! Twilight! Twi-LIGHT!

Wouldn’t the new Sherlock Holmes movie have been better if it ended with a song called “Sherlock Holmes” that went something like this:

Sherlock Holmes! He’s smart. He’s wise. He’s brave!
Sherlock Holmes! He will explore that cave!
[CUE FUNKY DRUM BEATS]

More people would have seen The Blind Side if it included a song called “Blind Side” sung by Lady Gaga with a chorus such as:

Blind Side! Who’s that over there?
Blind Side! I can’t see and I don’t care!
Blind Side! The big guy hit his head!
Blind Side! And now he finally got a bed!

So tonight, while you’re watching Ghostbusters along with me, enjoy the music, because they just don’t make ‘em like they used to. And if you can’t join me tonight, it’s OK. I’ll only hate you a little bit.

Will you be watching Ghostbusters with Danny B this evening?

Related post: SparkNotes Movie Club Presents: Ghostbusters