The Hit List: Taylor Swift
We're so excited about the avalanche of Sparkler music reviews that we received that we decided to post a second one for you to enjoy. Sure, Taylor Swift isn't quite as avant-garde as Phoenix, but Sparkler purpleeggplant4 loves her music just the same. And so do we: it's sweet and comforting, like a big bucket of chocolate ice cream. Man, do we ever wish we had a bucket of ice cream...— The SparkNotes Editors
Taylor Swift has quite a number of songs under her belt. "But what," you ask, "can they possibly be about?" Lucky for you, I took her biggest hits, put myself in her super cute shoes, and imagined how she would describe her songs in her own words. Disclaimer: I am not the real Taylor Swift. Sorry, guys.
Song: Our Song
Explanation: Boyfriend and I were in the car one day (he was driving with only one hand on the steering wheel, which is very dangerous) when I realized that we didn’t have a song. So, like any teen country/pop singer’s boyfriend would, he spontaneously sang me this song, which I later transcribed onto a napkin. Now that I think about it, he really should be the one to get the credit. Whoops!
Song: I’d Lie
Explanation: Okay, I admit, it’s a LITTLE creepy that I've memorized his favorite songs, know that he has his dad’s eyes, and think that his sister is beautiful. But cut me some slack. I love him! (But pinky promise you won’t tell anyone—I’m hoping that he won’t hear this song and notice that I mentioned all of his characteristics).
Song: Teardrops on My Guitar
Explanation: Drew has this really great girlfriend. Good for him, good for them. I mean, she has EVERYTHING I wish I had. And they’re in love. If only he knew how I felt about him. Sob. Oh, and if you’re wondering why I screwed up halfway through it, it’s ‘cuz a teardrop smudged the paper.
Song: Forever and Always
Explanation: So, I wrote this when I was in a pretty serious relationship with some guy (cough Joe Jonas cough) when all of a sudden he just freaked out and threw away everything we had. Why? No idea. And to think, we thought it was gonna last forever.
Explanation: This song was originally meant for a musical. Can’t you just picture hundreds of people coming out into the pouring rain with pitchforks and spears, all singing this in unison? Yeah, me too.
Explanation: OMG. This boy is AMAZING. So cute. So nice. So wonderful. And all of a sudden, I’m not scared of anything. Love? Nope. Rejection? Negative. Ruining my best dress in the rain? Absolutely not.
Song: Love Story
Explanation: There’s this one book called Romeo and Juliet—I don’t know if you’ve ever read it, but I had to for English class. And I did not understand a WORD. Luckily, I found this thing on the internet called No Fear Shakespeare—and thank God for that! So I wrote a song, pretending I was Juliet and my S.O. was Romeo. Apparently I didn’t read the last few pages of No Fear Shakespeare, though, because I didn’t know that Romeo and I had to die in the end. That would also explain my grade on the final exam, but that’s another story.
Song: You’re Not Sorry
Explanation: Boys? They stink. You go around saying “Oh, Taylor, forgive me! Please!” Yeah, right. You’re not sorry. TOO BAD, SUCKER!
Song:Picture to Burn
Explanation: BREAKUP ALERT. What did I learn? That revenge is actually the best revenge. Make out with his BFFs? Check. Spread rumors about his sexuality (unedited version!)? Check. Forbid him from ever setting foot on my property again? Check. Oh, who doesn’t love a good breakup?
Song: White Horse
Explanations: So maybe my predictions were a tad off in “Love Story.” Turns out he wasn’t Prince Charming after all—he didn’t even come close. But you know what? I’m gonna find someone, someday, who’ll actually be the one!
Song: Today Was a Fairytale
Explanation: Sorry about this song, everyone. My record company just said that I needed to record something new, pronto. It's not meant to be taken seriously. A real downer, I know.
Song: I Heart ?
Explanation: My Morning Routine:
Smell the breakup.
Fix my heart.
Put on my makeup.
Basically the entire song, right there.
Song: Tim McGraw
Explanation: How do I love thee, Tim McGraw? Let me count the ways. When I think of you, I think “my favorite summer.” You are just too great in that Chevy of yours. Your music plus my favorite blue jeans? Now that's the recipe for happiness.
Explanation: Maybe I’m a nobody. Maybe I’m a ghost. Either way, you never seem to notice me. All you notice is her, and she doesn’t even see you. It’s like a love triangle, sorta. But boy, if you could only realize that I exist, we would be a beautiful pair.
Song: You Belong With Me
Explanation: I’m a nerd. Kinda. Okay, maybe I just was one for the music video. Yeah, we’ll stick with that. And that girl over there? She’s my crush’s girlfriend. Uh huh, she’s the cheer captain, AND she can pull off short skirts. Grr...
Explanation: Well, I guess what I’m trying to say is that high school kind of sucks. Especially boys. Ugh, boys. My bestie Abigail gave her beau everything she had, if you know what I mean. And what did he do? Just dumped her right there. WHAT. A. JERK.
Song: Hey Stephen
Explanation: Sweetie, if you like him, wait outside his window when it’s cold. Write him songs about the other girls. Don’t say half the things you wanted to. Too much? Nope. Look at him! He looks like an angel! The way he walks, the way he talks, the way he says your name. You can’t help yourself.
Any more Taylor Swift songs you need translated, Sparklers?
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