5 Surefire Signs You Live Next to Justin Bieber

We can't get enough of Justin Bieber, and we know you can't either. So here's an article by NoahNosh about the boy we hate to love and love to hate, the Bieberator.— SparkNotes editors

We've all heard his incredibly popular music, we've all remarked on his young age, and we've probably all said "this dude sings like a chick" at least once. But did you know it's possible that this prepubescent heartthrob lives right next door to you? Here are the 5 signs you live next to Justin Bieber:

1. Your neighbor claims to be in a band, but you’ve never heard him practice. Why? Because he goes to a super-secret recording studio in the city to record his chart-topping hits.
Surefire hints: He constantly croons to himself while mowing the lawn, favoring such ground-breaking-ly original lyrics as, “Baby, baby, baby,” and “Love me, love me, say that you love me.”

2. Your neighbor spends a TON of time out of the house, and he never tells you where he's going. As he jumps into a suspiciously large limo, he always screams across your lawn, “HEY! BRO! Do me a ffllllavor, will you, and feed my cats, my dog, my parakeet, my Moroccan lynx, my white tiger, and my goldfish Larry!”
Surefire hints: He really loves saying “do me a flavor” and laughing hysterically to himself. He also likes throwing large wads of money in your direction as payment for assisting him with small tasks, like watering his imported Bonsai tree and collecting his mail.

3. Your neighbor wears absurdly expensive clothes, but they look just like inexpensive, regular clothes. He’s clearly trying to blend in with his environment while remaining at the forefront of the style game. The most important aspect of his appearance? His uber-shiny, uber-unmovable mop of hair, which inspires all the neighborhood girls to swoon with envy.
Surefire hints: He spends three hours blow-drying his luscious locks every morning, and another two hairspraying them to perfection. Once you threw a football at his head, and it just bounced off his bangs, as if there were an invisible force-field around them.

4. Your neighbor is really, really good at being really, really mediocre at dancing. You’ve seen him practicing in his backyard, and he can sort of do the moonwalk, but not really. But his jeans are so perfectly creased that it hardly even matters.
Surefire hints: He orders the instructional DVDs “How to Pop and Lock” and “N-SYNC: Dancin’ to Hot Beats” from Netflix and invites you over to critique his new “arm movements.”

5. Your neighbor is ridiculously wealthy. So wealthy, in fact, that he has a helicopter landing pad in his driveway and a stable full of Arabian horses out back.
Surefire hints: When you go out to dinner, he orders the lobster. With a side of steak. With a side of mashed potatoes made of gold. Plus, he gets a milkshake. MONEY.

Well, Sparklers? Is your neighbor Justin Bieber? And can we borrow his hairspray?

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