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Stock Characters At Your Local Convenience Store

Stock Characters At Your Local Convenience Store

By Jon_Skindzier

Convenience stores have a unique business philosophy, which is basically to charge 50 bucks for milk because they're located right there, wherever "right there" is for you, because store owners know that walking too much makes everyone grumpy. As such, convenience stores are often full of a bizarre mix of characters with nothing in common except location. These are the people who make up that bizarre mix:

1) Old Lady Who Slowly Pays for Bag of Carrots With Combination of Pennies, Canadian Currency, and Coat Buttons

2) Man Who Brought His Dog in Here, Which Nobody Minded Until It Went On a Pooping Spree

3) Bellowing Store Owner Who Chases Away Dog-Owning Man With Baseball Bat

4) Mother With Wailing Baby Who Occasionally Says "Shush" in the Direction of Her Horoscope Magazine

5) Lost Bird Who Just Sort Of Lives Here Now, Tweeting Confusedly and Wondering Where the Sky Went

6) Man With Bewildering Combination of Items, e.g. a Can of Spam and Eight Hammers

7) Frantic, Sweating Man With One Inexplicable Item, e.g. a Single Potato

8) One of Your Teachers, With Whom You Share Uncomfortable Eye Contact Before Awkwardly Going to Shake His Hand, Forcing Him to Shuffle His Giant Box of Generic Detergent From Arm to Arm, and Aaaaargh It Is Sooooo Awkward

9) Dude With Ten Jangling Wallet Chains Who Does Not Appear to Own a Wallet

10) Lady Who Decides in Line That She Actually Doesn't Want Orange Juice, Then Slyly Deposits Her Carton of Orange Juice on the Potato Chip Rack, Where Nobody Will Ever Notice It

11) Sneering Executive Who Just Needs Change for the Parking Meter

12) College Student Mournfully Buying Ramen Noodles and a Frozen Dinner-Like Substance, Again

13) Dude Who Enthusiastically Gets a Hot Dog From That Roller Thing, Even Though They Are Totally Horrible

14) Some Feral Child Who Periodically Bursts out of the Back Room and Smashes a Bunch of Things for No Reason

15) Kid Who Rolls Up Without Removing His Sunglasses, Because He Can't Be Constrained by Your "Rules"

16) Bleary-Eyed Trucker Who Sighs and Purchases, Like, a Gallon of Coffee

17) "Crazylegs Dan," Whose Craziness Is Pretty Clearly Not Limited to His Legs

Did we miss any?

Related Post: Stock Characters on the City Bus

Topics: Life
Tags: weird things, stock characters, convenience stores

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