It's no secret that school can be monotonous. Monday through Friday, day in and day out, you follow the same schedule and talk to the same people. Your school life is like the movie "Groundhog Day." But there's one thing that's guaranteed to shake things up: an unexpected fire drill!
Say you've just sat down in your second period class when, out of nowhere, the alarms go off. Startled, you jump a little bit, and hope no one noticed. Then you grab your bag and start filing out of the building in a calm, level-headed manner, just as you're supposed to do. But the sudden threat of death can cause your peers to exhibit a range of behaviors, from the unusual to completely wacky.
We've already told you about seven types of people you'll meet during a fire drill. Here are six more!
The Freak Out
Apparently, this person never listened during fire safety day, cause he is FREAKING OUT!!! As soon as the alarms go off, the Freak Out goes into high-adrenaline mode and loses all sense of reality. He dumps the contents of his backpack on the floor and throws the empty bag over his head. Then he starts screaming, "I CAN'T SEE! THE FIRE HAS BLINDED ME!"
His chest heaves as he begins to hyperventilate. Then he passes out and lands on the class hamster (Fire drill death count: 1). When the Freak Out comes to, he claims he doesn't remember anything.
Chatty Patty
For the Chatty Patty, an unexpected fire drill is an opportunity to practice the art of rumoring. He or she (don't be fooled by the name; there are plenty of dude Chatty Pattys) reacts by speculating about who, what, when, where, and why...and spreading those speculations among the crowd:
"I heard that John-the-hot-senior and Kristin-the-annoying-freshman were making out in the hallway and Kristin accidentally pulled the alarm in the heat of the moment."
"The teachers knew about the drill and were supposed to tell us, but decided a surprise drill would be more fun to watch."
"I heard that weird kid, Sheldon, say he saw all the bio dissection frogs come back to life and hop out of the building."
Fatalist (aka Emo Kid)
The Fatalist thinks the entire fire drill exercise is a waste of time because we're all going to die anyway.
Walter Kronkite
This person probably works on your school paper and will have a slim notepad in her hand and a pencil tucked behind her ear. During the fire drill melee, the Walter Kronkite pushes toward the center of the crowd and asks a steady stream of questions.
"Where were you when you heard the alarm go off?"
"Did your teacher follow all the fire drill protocol?"
"How many people in your classroom claimed it was the end of the world as we know it?"
"Do you believe this is a communist conspiracy?"
"What would fire beat in a game of rock, paper, scissors?"
Wild and Crazy Guys
Fire drill? PAR-TAY! These Wild and Crazy Guys come prepared for any and everything: They've got an iPod stocked with dance music and a speaker deck, plenty of nacho cheese Doritos and Diet Coke, and a portable disco ball. Who cares if the school burns down—you're going to hook up on the dance floor (aka the pothole-mangled school parking lot)!
Sneak Out
As everyone rushes out of the school, the Sneak Out takes the opportunity to, um...get lost. (Perhaps he escaped to a magical time-warping island?) Twenty minutes later, after you've been herded back into your classrooms, the Sneak Out is nowhere to be found—and neither are the answers to tomorrow's test on the Enlightenment.
How do you deal with a fire drill? Have you ever seen someone totally lose it when they didn't know it was a "drill"?
Related post: The Seven People You'll Meet During a Fire Drill
Topics: School
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