The awesome factor of any class comes down to the teacher, and this is especially true of electives. If your teacher is cool, the class will be cool, whether you're taking jazz ensemble or video production. But there's one elective with the weirdest, island-of-misfit-toys-iest group of possible teachers: theater. Just take a look at who you might have leading your class:
The Frustrated Thespian
On the first day of class, this drama teacher hands out copies of his headshot and resume. His autographed headshot. He tells stories about performing theatrical classics like Death of a Salesman on Broadway—but when you ask him questions about New York City, he mumbles something about "Broadway Street in Nashville." Ready for scene work? Great! You'll be playing opposite... your teacher.
Feely McNeely
Have you ever seen the movie or musical A Chorus Line? There's a character who sings about her acting teacher trying to get her to feel something. That's the Feely McNeely. What does it feel like to be Student #3 in Our Town? WHO CARES?!! Yeah, sure, you're supposed to be acting. But seriously, Student #3 probably feels the same way that Student #7 feels, which feels exactly like your life as a student right now (bored of drama class).
The Otherwise Known As
This drama teacher didn't study theater, drama, acting or any other sort of performing art. That's because the Otherwise Known As is otherwise known as a history (or math, or science, or whatever) teacher. But when the school budget was cut, the faculty voted to see who would take over the theater program, and this teacher was the unanimous choice—perhaps because she keeps stinky egg salad in the teacher's lounge fridge and picks her nose and flicks the boogers without any regard for their flight path. Anyway, drama class with the Otherwise Known As is pretty much like whatever class she normally teaches, except you read the textbook aloud while wearing silly costumes.
Uber-Dark
Do you know how serious it is to contemplate the metaphysical state of being? No? Well, it's really, really serious. According to the Uber-Dark, theater (pronounced thee-a-ter) isn't about make believe or any such nonsense. It's about pondering big questions like, "What is the meaning of life?" and "Is there a god?"
If you thought you were going to wear pretty costumes and sing and dance in a show like The Music Man—think again. Your class will do bare-minimum staged readings of absurdist works like Waiting for Godot and The Chairs. STOP LAUGHING! THEATER ISN'T FUN!
The Guffman
Who cares about whether or not you like theater when you have the Guffman as your teacher—he's freakin' hilarious! When he's not teaching at your high school, the Guffman is dancing at home. And he's the artistic director of a community theater company whose members include your friend's "eccentric" mom and that guy who works at Subway and dresses like Dr. Spock. On an average day, the Guffman might create a menagerie of balloon animals and have you do the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet...The balloon animal is Juliet, GO!
Do you take theater or drama? What's your teacher like?
Related Post: Casting Call: A Guide to Auditioning for the School Musical
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