Live Blogging My International Flight

We think peaceonearth34 would start a war on earth if she didn't get fed on a flight. Take notes, Jet Blue! —SparkNotes editors

If any of you have ever traveled internationally, you know the feeling. You're drained, angry, and ready to curse out anyone who dares to smile. Documented here, just about every thought one experiences on an international flight.

At the airport, before the flight: Wow, this is exciting!!! I'm going somewhere exciting and exotic!! Oh my god, did I remember the sunscreen?? I really hope I remembered the sunscreen.

On the airplane, before takeoff: Woah, this airplane is ha-yuge!! Ooooh, look, they give you cute little blankets and pillows!! Wow, this will be so much fun!!!

Hour 1: This is easy. Just like any other airplane ride. This chair is nice and big and comfortable. I hope we eat soon. I'm hungry.

Hour 2: I'm hungry. When do we eeeeeeat? I think I'll read now. Crap, this isn't the book I wanted to read!! Oh well, I might as well give it a try. I wonder if we're gonna watch a movie soon.

Hour 3: The woman next to me is speaking in Italian. I want to know what she's saying. What if she's talking about me? What if she's telling the stewardess that I have to move because my iPod light is annoying her sensitive eyes? This book is bad. When are we eating?

Hour 4: I finished the book. I didn't like it. Now what do I do? The man next to me is snoring. The engine is loud. I want to sleep, but I can't. I bet I'm missing some great SparkLife articles. Why doesn't this airplane have WiFi? Why didn't I bring my laptop? WHEN ARE WE EATING???

Hour 5: Finally, we're eating. Mmmm, it looks good! I'm just going to take a bite of this and—EWW!! This is disgusting!! It's like cafeteria food!! Yuck!! Are we going to watch a movie soon?? I'm tired. I want to sleep, but the engine is too loud.

Hour 6: My butt feels glued to the chair. I need to get up and walk for a little bit. But there are all these people around me. I'll just ask this guy to get up and let me go. Okay, I'm out. Now lemme stroll around. Did everyone on this freaking plane bring their laptops?? Are those stewards drinking pop up there? Hmm, let's take a look at first class—whoa! look at the size of those chairs!! And those touch screens!! Why aren't I in first class?

Hour 7: I just got back in my seat, and now I have to pee. I bet if I go out, the lady next to me will get angry. But I have to pee!!!

Hour 8: I have to pee!!!!

Waiting at the airport for connecting flight: (This part really did happen.) Thank god, there's only a couple of hours left!! What is it, like, 2 a.m. back home?? I want to sleep, but it's too sunny and there's not enough time!! But at least I can finally pee!! But where are the bathrooms?? Okay, there's one. Ahh, that feels better. Now to leave the stall and wash my hands—wait, why won't the stall door open? Open, you stupid door! Okay, I think maintenance knows that they have a defective door. I'm out!!! Woohoo, I'm free!! Oh crap, there's only 15 minutes left until the next flight!!!

2 hours of flight to final destination: I have a headache. But we're almost here!! Yes!!! I'm tired and hungry and pissed off at everyone, but we're almost here!!

Landing: YES!!! HALLELUJAH!! I'm gonna kiss the ground once we pass through all this security!

...Or maybe not.

What's your least favorite part about flying?

Related Post: 24 Ways to Enjoy Yourself at the Airport

Wanna write for SparkLife? Send your submission and nickname to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration!