Parcheesi, and Other Games of Love

If you've ever gone over to the home of a friend you happen to be crushing on, you know how this goes:

Step 1: You show up.
Step 2: You flip a wave and a "hi there" to Mr. and Mrs. Parents-of-Your-Crush.
Step 3: You head down to the basement where, alone at last, you and your pal sit together on the couch and...
Step 4: ...look at each other awkwardly for ten minutes while he says, "Uhhhm," and you wonder whether he can see your scalp sweating from three feet away.

In the days, weeks, even months before you manage to seal the deal and take a friendship to the next level, the romantic tension can be absolutely killer. And when you're dying over a crush but not yet brave enough to talk out your feelings, every moment spent in close proximity to the object of your affections can feel like never-ending agony. What's a love-struck Sparkler to do?

The answer: Play games.

Not mind games—that back-and-forth, does-she-or-doesn't-she, love-you-hate-you stuff is not on the SparkNotes-approved list of things you can do to your crush. (Especially not after Johnny Twiddlepits totally broke our heart back in Grade 9 when he told us he liked us and then dated our friend Karen instead. WE HATE YOU, JOHNNY.) We mean GAME-games, actual competitions that allow you to remain in close proximity to your crush while channeling your raging love into a more productive, less-sweaty outlet. And so, your SparkNotes editors are proud to present this list of Games You Can Play With That Person You Like:

Twister
Obviously. Because when you're riding a tidal wave of hormones, a game that involves removing your shoes, contorting yourself into various poses, and eventually falling on top of your crush is the next best thing to making out.

Monopoly
Monopoly has a reputation for being as dull as a yawn wrapped in an econ class sitting on top of a dissertation about the mating habits of African bear-slugs...but the inevitable degeneracy of the game into a series of unorthodox exchanges provides plenty of potential for flirty game-playing and dirty jokes about the real connotations of "passing GO."

Scrabble
For nerds in like, there is no better pastime than a lengthy competition to see who can anagram better. Feel free to steer the conversation in the right direction by playing evocative words like "kiss," "sweet," "tongue," and "ohmygodpleasemakeoutwithmealready." (That last one is worth, like, a bajillion points.)

Parcheesi
There is nothing inherently exciting or romantic about parcheesi, but if you guys both know all the rules and can play it without killing each other in the process, it must be destiny.

Go Fish
Everybody looks alluring when they're staring at you over a giant fan of cards and whispering, "Do you have a FOUR?!" Plus, playing Go Fish takes freakin' forever, so you'll be sure to have plenty of time together.

Cranium
Admittedly, you can't play Cranium with only two people. But if you're hoping to prove to your crush just what a fun-loving and friendly chap you are (or if you're hoping to impress her parents) then suggesting that you get the whole family in on a game night can be a very savvy move. (Note: exercise caution. If your crush is trying to work up the nerve to kiss you, the last thing she wants to hear is, "Hey, let's go find your DAD!")

Bingo
If your crush suggests that you play bingo, stop what you are doing and examine your surroundings very carefully. Are the walls covered in green institutional tile? Does the air smell like Icy Hot and old oatmeal? Does your crush look a bit haggard today? If so, you have inadvertently bypassed your crush's house and wound up in a nursing home on Bingo night. Feel free to stay— the Olds are a lot of fun when they get rowdy—but don't try to make out with anyone. And whatever you do, don't eat the Jell-O.

What's your favorite game when there's romantic tension?

Related post: What Type of Board Game Player Are You?