Oops Your Way to The First Kiss

While waiting for your first kiss, it can be very tempting to go up to your crush, grab his or lips with your fingers, and yell, “just kiss me already danggit!” But that’s a mood killer, and will likely result in a slap.

If you’re not lucky enough to get the first kiss over your 16th birthday cake (a la Sixteen Candles), you'll need to play a calculated game of strategy, cunning, and well-placed lips. Spin the Bottle and 7 Minutes in Heaven are obvious choices, but we’ve also devised some more surreptitious means to get to the hallowed first lip lock:

"Is there food between my teeth?"—Asking someone if there’s food stuck between your teeth can border on gross, especially if there is, in fact, food between your teeth. However, should that not be the case, when the person leans in for closer examination… POW! Your smooch has arrived.

Flavored lip gloss test—For the ladies (or really bold guys), go ahead and slick a new flavor over those lips and invite your crush to take a taste test.

Mono exchange program—Everyone knows mono is the “kissing disease.” We’re not taking a true diagnosis of mono lightly, but you could always fake a case of mono and find someone who's looking to get out of school for a few weeks to trade germs with...

Shakespearean reenactments—“Oh then dear saint, let lips do what hands do.” Shakespeare's plays are brimming with kissing scenes. Get your crush in a one-on-one study session, and then you’re merely obliged to follow the script down to every last detail.

You’ve got an eyelash—Similar to the “food in the teeth” method, but less gross. As soon as their eyes snap shut, go ahead and plant one on ‘em!

CPR—This right here is a health class miracle. Technically, it's not a kiss, it's breathing into someone’s mouth, but we won't tell if you use incorrect form on your crush.

Foreign greetings—The French kiss cheek to cheek, the Eskimos rub noses, so you should feel free to make up your own cultural greeting. Did you know in an extremely remote region of Uzbekistan they high five twice, then shake tongues??

What’s your sneaky first kiss method?

Related Post: First Kiss Bliss?