Incredibly Strange High School Sports

High school sports are usually a mixed bag: You want to pile on respectable activities to trick colleges into accepting you despite the egregious thing you did with cooking grease in the teachers' lounge, but then you look at the available sports, and they're all "football" and "baseball" and "chasing down some object while people bellow at you." Don't you wish there were some really creative sports out there? Hopefully you're saying "yes," because here they are.

We should stress that at least one high school, somewhere, does in fact have a team or club for these sports. These are real.

Orienteering
What are your favorite things? Are they "getting hopelessly lost" and then "trying to find your way home with nothing but your tears and some old-timey cartography equipment"? If you said either of these things, then you should definitely check yourself into some kind of hospital, but on your way you should find out if your high school offers orienteering, because that's what orienteering is.

If you follow that link, you'll also notice that orienteering has a logo, and that this logo has had less work put into it than any logo in the history of time (probably because its intended designers got lost in the woods).

Sport Stacking
Sport stacking is the nationally-recognized sport of taking things and then putting them on top of other things. No, wait! Don't go back and reread that sentence. You got it right the first time. Get some cups (okay), put them on top of each other (right), and hooray! You're a sport stacker.

Bicycle Polo
Picture a Westminster Dog Show with tiny bicycles instead of dogs, or perhaps a lackluster bicycle Iditarod. See how you can eliminate the prestige from anything by replacing animals with bicycles? If not, then please examine Exhibit C, bicycle polo, wherein a bunch of swaying, pedaling people bump into each other and whack at a ball with mallets.

Believe it or not, there are new and old varieties of bicycle polo, and we like to imagine that bicycle polo modernists get into furious arguments with bicycle polo traditionalists, who angrily twirl their mustaches from atop their 100-year-old bicycles.

Parkour
Parkour is actually one of the coolest things you will ever see anyone do. It's the activity wherein people run around cities and look like they're about to be murdered by gravity, but instead they turn out to be Spider Man, and they do something unthinkably athletic to remain alive. The problem with high school parkour, specifically, is that it's like having a High School Shark-Fighting Team. You can form one if you want, but there's so much bodily harm involved that anybody who goes on the field trips probably isn't coming back.

Runners-Up:

Curling
Poor curling has been ridiculed enough lately, we think.
Pickleball
Pickleball essentially just combines all the racket sports and hopes nobody will notice what it has decided to name itself.
Ferret-legging
It's a genuine tragedy that we simply couldn't locate a high school willing to sanction the sport of putting ferrets down one's pants for the purposes of competition. On the off-chance this information will someday save your life, the world record for ferret-legging is about five and a half hours.

What's the weirdest sport at your school?

Related Post: Do You Care About High School Sports?