Where Are They Now? Literary Character Edition
This über-clever post combines our favorite literature and those addicting Vh1 shows. Nice work, LadyLeafdawn! —SparkNotes editors
We hear stories about fictional characters all the time. The characters capture our interest as we turn the pages or sit glued to the television screen, completely cut off from this boring world known as “reality.” When we finish a story, we wonder what happens to these characters we know and love. Well, wonder no more, Sparklers, for I have found a fictional time machine and traveled into the future to see where a few of these characters will be and what they will be doing with the rest of their lives…
Harry Potter: OK, yes, we already sort of know what happens to him because of the epilogue of the seventh book. But what the epilogue doesn’t mention is the intensive therapy that he has to go through with his kids when they finally learn where their names came from.
Therapist: What seems to be the problem?
Lily: Well, sorry for the spoiler, Mr. Therapist-man, but my dad kinda named me after his dead mom, my brother after his dead dad, and my other brother after two dead guys (one of whom was in love with his mom). Plus my mom’s a redhead, which made it possible for dad to have kids who looked creepily similar to said dead parents… you see where I’m going with this?
Merry and Pippin, of The Lord of the Rings: After a whirlwind adventure from the Shire to Gondor and back again, these two hobbits take up musical theater and create the musical version of Frodo’s epic tale. The tickets sell like hotcakes (or something that sells 10 times better than hotcakes) because, honestly, who doesn’t want to see a bunch of hobbits dancing around and singing? Admit it, just thinking about the cuteness is making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Artemis Fowl: After solving every puzzle that could possibly be solved, breaking into everything that could possibly be broken into, hacking every system in the entire world and covering up for it so well that no one even notices that he’s basically running the world, Mr. Fowl cracks from having no new challenges and takes up a pizza delivery job because “the spaghetti demands it.”
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, of Pride and Prejudice: They have many children. All of these children are very proud and very prejudiced. They are so easily offended that they each stay in separate rooms during the day and speak to each other only in sarcastic comments when forced to eat dinner together.
Percy Jackson, of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: After saving the world a total of fifteen times, Percy finally settles down on beachfront property with some nice girl he met in college (because marrying Annabeth would be WAY too clichéd and predictable). And yes, demigods go to regular college, so if you want regular school to just go away, you'd better get back on that wizard thing—there’s no Hogwarts for Greek Mythos.
What do you think the future holds for our beloved heroes of literature?
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