Sparkler iplayharp makes some pretty convincing arguments in this fashion post. *nervously hides harem pants under hot pink and brown shoulder pads* —SparkNotes editors
Maybe it’s just me, but modern fashion makes absolutely NO sense at all. Look in any issue of Vogue or Glamour and there’s a strong possibility that your face will implode from seeing all the shoulder pads, orange+red combos, and fedoras. Here are three recent trends that should be thrown in a bonfire:
Why they should die: Unless your thighs are shaped like a badly-cooked soufflé, these pants will not flatter you at all. A pair of harem pants is basically like a muumuu for your bottom half.
Why they appeared in the first place: Remember gauchos? The other ugliest type of pants in the universe? When that trend died, the designers were probably too lazy to create something else, so they banded the bottom part of the gaucho and voila! Celebrities were all over them.
What will probably come next: Bedazzled harem pants. Sequins are somehow back in style too.
Matte Nail Polish
Why it should die: The definition of “polish” is “to make smooth and glossy.” Matte nail polish is not glossy, so it defeats the purpose. Also, without shine, there’s a good chance your nails will look like you smashed them in a car door.
Why it appeared in the first place: With the recession, people are spending less and less on beauty products. Beauty product marketers are probably just desperate to get consumers shopping again.
What will probably come next: Surgeons will remove the entire fingernail and tattoo color where your nails used to be. The tattoo color will change according to your disposition, so mood rings will no longer be needed.
Uncomplimentary Color Pairings
Why they should die: They are physically painful for those around you. Have some consideration, people! The only time orange and purple can go together is at a Phoenix Suns game or in a sunset!
Why they appeared in the first place: Again, desperation. Either that or designers were actually watching the sun set and were “inspired.” They are also probably colorblind wine connoisseurs who drink even when they're designing…
What will probably come next: Orange bedazzled shirts with purple matte pants. Nothing like a contrast.
You can buy to these despicable creations, but I’ll just stick to my solid colored shirts and blue jeans.
What fashion trends could you do without?
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