Auntie SparkNotes: Operation Prom Date

Note: Due to a computer-related disaster, Auntie is not able to draw a cartoon today (did you know she's the advice-giver AND the artist?? Amazing, no?). Instead, here is picture of her dog wearing a pair of Lolita sunglasses. Normal cartooning will resume soon.

Dear Auntie Sparknotes,
I know it's a little early in the game, but Prom is in late April and I REALLY want to go. There's just one problem: Juniors are required to have dates. I don't have a date.

I go to a private all-girl school, so it's not like I'm surrounded by boys I could get to know. I don't have many guy friends, the few I do have I don't know that well, are in relationships, or have asked me out and I've turned them down, making things really awkward between us. The extra-circulars and hobbies I have are primarily solitary or are related to my school (which has no boys), and I don't have time between homework and classes to get a new, boy-filled pastime. I have an older brother, but his friends are off-limits and college aged. I've tried hanging out with my public (co-ed) school girlfriends, but most of the guys they know are completely unfriendly, rude-lewd-and-crude, or I can't connect with them because we're not on the same level at all (I'm taking the most rigorous and challenging courses my school offers). I'll keep trying this approach, but I've been doing this for years and it hasn't exactly been fruitful.

I'm reaching the end of my rope here. I've been loitering by the movie theatres on weekends, going to almost every local concert, to every sports or performance event my out-of-school friends are in, but I just can't seem to meet guys, let alone ones I connect with. I've asked my out-of-school friends to keep theirs eyes open for guys for me, but that doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
It's getting to the point where I'll be willing to stand outside a public high in my dress with my friends (who all have the same dilemma I do, finding dates is a COMMON problem for my school) holding signs that read "I Need A Prom Date".

So my question? Where else can I go and what else can I do in these next few months to try to meet and snag a suitable guy for my date?
I just want to go to Prom and have a good time. Please help. Thank you.

Before I answer your question, let me pose one of my own: What's the deal with this archaic dates-required policy? Of course, logically, a school is entitled to enforce whatever prom rules and regulations it wants. (My own high school had a specific ban on kilts, due to my principal's impassioned and irrational hatred of all things Scottish.) But Auntie can't help being a little bit skeeved out by a rule that bars you from attending a school-sanctioned event unless you're accompanied by a dude. Do you have to provide a dowry before you're allowed to graduate, too? Because, you know, what the what.

But since this is the position you're in—and since I assume that your school not only requires that you have a date, but that said date must have male... parts —you're going to have to get creative.

First, a mental exercise: Try to relax your critera, just a tad. I'm not saying that you should head down to the local prison in search of dates (really, a nonviolent offender who looks good in a tux is damned near impossible to find), but you're not scouting for a husband, here; you just need someone you can hang with for a few hours. For such a short period of time, you don't necessarily need "smart, handsome, ambitious, and possessed of taut, perfectly-rounded buttocks." You just need "nice guy who doesn't pick his nose in public."

Okay? Okay!

Now: It's time to pool your resources. If you and all your friends are in need of dates, then your best bet is to find a corresponding pack of guys who can accompany you. Asking a random acquaintance to the prom can be freaky for you and him, but one group asking another group changes the stakes. You'll all go together, you'll pair off arbitrarily, and there's no date-y pressure; it's just a bunch of people hanging out in formalwear.

So, where can you find a group of guys? Consider the following options:

- Facebook. You'll have to vet all potential applicants for creepiness, but making a group ("Wanted: 6 guys, ages 16 - 20, who look good in a tux") will net you a large audience of available dudes. Plus, it'll be a fun story when someone asks what you did for your junior prom.
- Friends, and friends of friends. Even if things are awkward between you and a given guy because you're not super-close or he asked you out once, you can still reach out to him on a friendly basis. Send an email to your male friends and acquaintances that explains the situation, and ask whether anyone would be interested in helping put together a big group prom date. Have your other dateless friends do the same. Someone is bound to be interested.
- Standing outside the local public school with a sign. Seriously, if you've got a few extraverted friends who will also get involved, this would be pretty gutsy and awesome.

Use all the resources you've got, and I guarantee you'll find a "suitable" gent to accompany you—and your friends—to the prom. (And if weeks go by and you're still SOL, write back and tell me, and we'll put out an APB to all Sparklers in your area.)

Oh, and if you do stand outside the local public high school, wearing ballgowns and holding a sign that says "Prom Dates Needed!"—please, please take pictures.

Got another suggestion for our letter-writer? Tell us in the comments! Got a question for Auntie? Email her at advice@sparknotes.com.