Julez_Eliza, the author of this post, and Coffinmaker, actually came up with their mythical creatures posts completely independent of one another. Great minds look for fictional characters to blame their missing homework on think alike! -SparkNotes editors
As high schoolers, we've all experienced those days where nothing seems to be going right. Your homework is missing, you embarrass yourself in front of your crush, and as the long day is winding down, your can’t listen to your iPod because somehow, during the eight hours it was sitting in your locker, the cords managed to tangle themselves into a ball bigger than your fist.
Well, after conducting a long and completely make-believe scientific research study, I have discovered the little-known culprits behind life’s misfortunes:
1. The Homework Hijackers
These mischievous nuisances only strike when you’re least expecting it, which makes them the sneakiest of the problem-causing mythical creatures. They show up the day your English short story or your math essay on the history of the plus sign is due. Though you know you spent hours slaving away at the assignment, you now have nothing to show for your effort except a big, fat zero. The signs that a homework hijacker is near include utter confusion, panic, and a rapidly dropping average.
2. The Truth Fairy
Also known as The Why-On-Earth-Did-I-Just-Say-That-Out-Loud Goblin. This well-meaning fairy believes that honesty is the best policy. Always. She usually strikes when the truth is the last thing your want to come out of your mouth. She appears when you’re talking to your oh-so-adorable crush and during those awkward silences at family holiday parties when you’d rather keep your secret obsession with Mexican hat dancing just that—a secret.
3.The Schedule Slingers
While the Homework Hijackers are the sneakiest, the Schedule Slingers are by far the most annoying of our mythical enemies. While you lounge by the pool all summer, balancing your laptop on your stomach to read the latest SparkLife posts, these perpetually-pesky creatures are busy in the District office, messing with your schedule, giving you no classes with your friends. Although the SS's efforts give you a good reason to make new friends, it's awful having no one to talk to on that awkward first day back. To get over your sheer loneliness, you whip out your iPod, intending to let Taylor Swift sweep all your troubles away, but then there’s…
4. The Wire Witch
She creeps into your locker while you’re in class, your purse while you’re at Starbucks, and your bedroom while you’re sleeping. Who, you may ask? No, not Edward Cullen. The much despised… Wire Witch! She is the reason you can never listen to your tunes when you please, because instead you have to spend five minutes untangling your ear bud cords, which somehow ended up looking like this.
Do you know any of these mythical creatures?
Related Post: Modern Mythical Creatures
Wanna write for SparkLife? Great! But wait! We're up to our turtlenecks in posts about A Day in the Life of a _____ School Kid, so please no more! There are only so many types of schools out there. Anything else, please send to contribute@sparknotes.com for consideration.
Topics: Life
Tags: sparkler posts, annoying things, what if, mythical creatures


Post a comment!