The To-Do Lists of Literary Characters

A few weeks ago, we posted a ♥ letter to the to-do list. It got us wondering what other people's to-do lists look like. Ours are pretty boring, generally topped by "Clean room" or the ever-exciting "Get new toothbrush." But some people's to-do lists have to be exciting (right?). What about all those characters in books who murder and cheat and hunt wild pigs on a deserted island (not that island)? Here are our favorite literary characters' to-do lists imagined:

Heathcliff:
1. Impress Catherine
2. Get revenge on Hindley
3. Mourn Catherine
4. Be really mean to my son
5. Get revenge on Edgar
6. Obsess some more over Catherine
7. Die

Jay Gatsby:
1. Stalk Daisy
2. Pick up pink shirt from dry cleaner
3. Stalk Daisy
4. Drink a mint julep
5. Stalk Daisy
6. Swim laps

Mr. Rochester:

1. Get fireproof curtains
2. Hit up Zales
3. Stop speaking to Richard Mason
4. Find out who this "Sinjin" character is
5. Get new eye patch
6. Live happily ever after

Hamlet:
1. Get some Febreze for Denmark
2. Avenge father's death
3. Decide: to be or not to be
4. Order Ophelia to a nunnery (nice habits)
5. Write play
6. Kill Claudius Polonius (whoops)
7. Kill Claudius

Odysseus:
1. Get home

Oliver Twist:
1. Ask for some more (please)
2. Get to London
3. Avoid Fagin
4. Buy a yacht

Elizabeth Bennet:

1. Put Mr. Darcy in his place
2. Shake off that creepy stalker Mr. Collins
3. Apologize to Darcy
4. Put Lady Catherine in her place
5. Bom chicka wah wah

What's on your favorite characters' to-do lists?

Related post: My Crush is a Literary Character