Real, Actual, Legit Ways Not to Impress Girls (We're Still Not Kidding Around)

This one is for you, gents! Here's how NOT to impress the ladies.

1. Bare-knuckle brawls. Don’t operate under the impression that violent displays of testosterone are the best way to a girl’s heart. Instead of punching a stranger in the throat, show off in other ways: join the Frisbee team, tell your girl a joke, or carry an old man across the street.
2. Hair gel. You like girls whose hair looks natural and touchable, right? Apply the same rule to yourself, and take it easy with the hair products. The only thing worse than a guy with bangs plastered to his forehead is a guy with hair so spiky that it’s considered a lethal weapon in 48 states.
3. Tank tops. Unless you first name is “The Rock” or you’re lifting weights at the gym, please stay away from sleeveless shirts.
4. Aggression. Girls like confidence, not borderline belligerence. So don’t get threateningly close to her, don’t “flirtatiously” dump a bottle of water on her hair, and don’t give her a friendly shove into the pool. Be a gentleman, gentlemen.
5. Pick-up lines. Who wouldn’t want to be asked, “Was your daddy an astronaut? Cuz your butt is out of this WORLD.”? Everyone. So quit it with the tacky lines and be genuine, sweet, and funny.
6. Acting like a jerk. Girls like gentle teasing and a great sense of humor. But don’t go overboard into the Hostility Zone. No matter what you’ve seen in the movies, girls don’t fall for a%*holes, and if they do, they always end up regretting it.
7. Shaking with fear. It’s natural to be nervous around the opposite sex, but try not to convulse with terror. Take a deep breath, square your shoulders, and smile. It always works.

Have you ever done one of these/been subjected to one of these?

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