"Hey, Can I Borrow a Pencil?"

Can pencil borrowers be evil? Yes, yes they can, according to Sparkler imperfectbutfine. Enjoy! —SparkNotes editors

Isn’t annoying when people ask you for a pencil? What should you do? Well, if the borrower is one of these Pencil Barons, you should definitely not lend your pencil:

1. Pencil Chewers
If you don’t know anyone who chews pencils, you’re probably the Pencil Chewer. Any pencil the Pencil Chewer obtains will receive some dents and teeth marks that weren’t there before. The aftermath of such a pencil chewing leaves the pencil virtually useless to anyone else. (I mean, who want to use a chewed-pencil?). By rendering pencils undesirable to anyone except themselves, the Pencil Chewer probably someone you shouldn’t loan a pencil to.

2. Pencil “Borrowers”
“May I borrow a pencil” seems like an innocent question. However, Pencil “Borrowers” use this innocent question for nefarious purposes—they take your pencil and don’t give it back to you. Most people just forget to give you back your pencil, but Pencil “Borrowers” know they have to give the pencil back and come up with excuses like, “I lost it” or, “I didn’t borrow a pencil” to cover up their crime. If you want to disappear a pencil, Pencil “Borrowers” are who you turn to.

3. Pencil Abusers
These people really are cruel. When you give them a pencil, they’ll find a way to destroy it. Some classic examples include: snapping the pencil into pieces, sharpening down the pencil until it’s too small to use, and using the all the eraser at the end of the pencil. There are some unorthodox Pencil Abusers too, such as The Pyromaniac Pencil Abuser. (I don’t think that needs any explanation.) The worst part of Pencil Abusers is that they give you back the pencil and bolt, leaving you alone with the shattered remains of a once-beautiful writing utensil.

There are actually hundreds of types of Pencil Barons. Do you know any more?

Related Post: Pen Vs. Pencil: It's More Important Than You Think
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