A Catholic School Dance

Ever wonder what a Catholic school dance is like? Sparkler mayberry817 has your answer! —SparkNotes editors

Inspired by the recent posts about life in public and private school, I thought I’d give a little insight into the social life of a Catholic girl.

Saturday, 12:15 p.m.
I’m on student council (okay, so technically I’m a member at large, but it’s all the same thing), so I’m required to get to the school hours early to help “decorate.” Sometimes the decorations are really good, but usually they’re just cardboard cutouts shoved in a corner and Christmas lights strung on the walls. Nevertheless, it always ends up taking us eons to set up.

3 p.m.
After almost three hours of torn cardboard, burnt-out bulbs, and the president of student council asking us why the h*** nothing ever works out right (just ‘cause we go to Catholic school doesn’t make us holy), we’re free to go. Mr. President and his VP have to stay to get the DJ set up in the right place, but the rest of us have completed our job. There are perks to being a member at large instead of a real student council representative.

3:15 p.m.
My best friend and I pull up my driveway and run inside. Time to get ready! I hop in the shower, shampooing and shaving my legs as fast as I can so I have plenty of time to do my hair and makeup. I get out of the shower, and my friend gets in, while I go to my room to lay out my Catholic school-appropriate attire.

Yep, we do have restrictions on what we can wear. Theoretically, anyway. Technically, girls aren’t supposed to wear anything strapless, tight, or short. Naturally, we find ways to get away with as much as we can, usually by wearing calf-length coats that we take off in the locker room, or tights that come off as soon as we walk in the doors. Guys have it just as bad, too. No jeans, no sneakers, and you better wear a tie.

3:30 p.m.
My best friend and I are in my bathroom, primping ourselves for upcoming night out. Blow dryer, straightener, curling iron, and every sort of make up possible litter the counter. Yes, we go a little bit overboard. But hey, that’s what girls do.

5:30 p.m.
For all you guys out there, it really does take us two hours to get half-ready. So what, we’re girls, we’re allowed. We just hope none of the guys take the same amount of time, ‘cause that would just be weird.

Anyway, my mom calls us down for dinner. In our sweats and half made-up faces (you can’t do anything besides eye makeup before dinner, obviously), we run downstairs to chow down some pasta. Then, we rush back upstairs to put the finishing touches on our faces and to throw on our dresses.

6:15 p.m.
My friends start to arrive for pictures. If they’re lucky, they have dates. If not, well that’s what friends are for. The rest of this is pretty self-explanatory. Pictures snap, flashes flash, and for what seems hours, smiles are plastered on our faces. Finally someone tells our parents if we don’t hurry up, we’re gonna be late. Eventually we pile into some cars and make our way to our school.

6:45 p.m.
After waiting in a line containing the entire school (think freshmen, jocks, nerds, and your ex), we head into the locker room to deposit our coats and tights. Then, by way of the side entrance, we head into the gym. "The Electric Slide" is playing in the background, which no one does these days, and the school arranged in clumps by grade. Freshmen get the doorway because they don’t dance anyway, sophomores off to the left because we don’t want them near us, juniors in the corner by the DJ, and seniors get the best corner furthest away from the door and teachers. We mingle for half an hour til some girl decides she wants to dance. The clean version of a rap song from 5 years ago starts to play, and us girls start to get in a circle around each other, guys hanging back in the corner, looking sideways at us.

7:45 p.m.
Ahh, finally! One guy grabs his girlfriend and pulls her to the side to dance, and then eventually the rest of the guys start to mingle in with the girls. Mostly they just stand there, but if you get yourself close enough, you might be able to get them to dance with you.

9:30 p.m.
You’ve danced with your friends, gotten stalked by some guy in your pre-calc class you’ve never talked to before, and gotten near the senior soccer star, which in your world counts as dancing with him for three songs. Your legs hurt, the gym is 100 degrees, and the music starts to get slower and slower. The lights flicker on, and the DJ calls out for the final song. Too lazy to find a boy who you know is too shy to actually dance with you anyway, you pull your best friend over and throw your arms around her for the last few minutes of the night.

After the song is over, you walk through the room, hugging your classmates and the occasional guy you wished you danced with, and then get into your car with a few of your friends. It’s early still, but you head home for a sleepless sleepover where you’ll talk about the guys that you only think are hot because your standards have been lowered by Catholic school, and express regret that you didn’t go to a fun school with parties.

Basically, Catholic school dances are 62% primping, 23% getting close to some guys you’ll never dance with, and 15% wishing you went to public school.

Hav you ever been to a school dance that was actually tons of fun? Tell us all about it; we have no idea what that's like.

Related Post: A Day in the Life of a Catholic School Guy

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