Valentines from Auntie SparkNotes

It's almost Valentine's Day, Sparklers, and that means a little something extra in today's column. Yes, that's right: they're AUNTIE SPARKNOTES VALENTINES. Just for you! But first, here's a letter:

Hi there, Auntie:

So, my boyfriend and I have known each other forever. I mean, FOREVER. I have memories of taking a bath with him when we were teensy weensy little babies. We lost touch when he moved to New York in fifth grade, and he finally confessed that he had liked me when we got back in touch in eighth grade. We started our long distance relationship, and it was a little awkward at first, because I always thought of him as a brother. But our love did 'blossom' in the end.

Since it's almost Valentine's Day, I wanted to give him something special, but the distance makes it a little hard to keep in touch. Our love life revolves around phone calls, IMing, and e-mailing each other. I just want to do something special for him, but I just don't know what! Please help!

Give him a badger. There is NOTHING more special than a badger! Especially when it's really, really angry.

...Okay, yeah, I'm kidding. (Although if you do see a badger somewhere, would you let me know? I want to leave an extra-special Valentine for my former boss.)

The best Valentine's gifts are ones that are meaningful not just to the recipient, but to the relationship. Which means that actually, the person who knows best what to give your boyfriend is... you. There are certain things that are significant to you as a couple—songs, foods, memories, whatever —that are the seed of a really great V-Day gift. Find something that references the time you've spent together: anything from a romantic mix CD of "your songs," to an inside joke (e.g. a rubber duck commemorating your shared baby-baths), to the screamingly obvious photo of the two of you, nicely edited and framed. Think about the things you share, whether it's an experience or a favorite band or a deep, abiding love of bacon, and go from there. What makes a gift special isn't the actual object being gifted, but the thought that went into picking it. (Unless it's an iPod. Because they're awesome no matter what.)

And if you still can't think of anything? Well, perhaps you would like to give him one of these downloadable valentines made especially for you (and you, and you) by me! Want to confess your stalkerish love? Want to express platonic fondness? Want to admit your fear of clowns?! There's a Valentine for you. Just right-click and save. You're welcome.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!