From Napoleon Dynamite to The Jersey Shore: Dances You Can't Miss

If it weren't illegal, we'd love to take almostt2013 to the Sadie Hawkins.  *sigh* —SparkNotes editors

High school dances: Some people dread them, while others spend hours upon hours anticipating them.

Unless you attend a school where everyone is put into hand and ankle cuffs before they step onto the dance floor, you are almost guaranteed to find people dancing in a lot of ridiculous ways. Including. . .

The Jersey Shore
Oh come on now, you know who you are. You're the massively tanned person wearing about 6 Bumpits who can't resist yelling "FIST PUMPSSS!" while simultaneously projecting your fists into the air in the most over dramatic way possible. You like to turn any party into a "Situation."

The "Jerk"
Screw all the back-stepping that comes with country music. When your song comes on you can't wait to show people what you're made of... and skip backwards. (NOTE: As easy as "skipping backwards" may sound, if you want to do this in a fashion that will NOT get you beat up, then it is much harder than it looks.)

The "William Hung"
This is a dance commonly done by those who don't know what to do when they are involuntarily thrust into one of those circles formed at dances. Suddenly, the lights seem brighter, everyone is staring at you, and you can't even remember that the capital of North Dakota is Bismarck. Under the pressure, your body starts spasmodically grooving to the music in ways that should have been banned years ago. (WARNING: Side effects of this dance include the occasional random yelling of the phrase "She bangs!")

The "Napoleon Dynamite"
Direct relative of the "William Hung." It is acceptable to do this dance alone in front of a mirror, but I highly advised that you do not perform it before large groups of people in public areas.

The "Slam Dance"
Who says you can't punch random strangers and violently slam your body to "Boom Boom Pow"? I say, work with what you got! If this is your type of dance, then more power to you! Teach those teen pop sensations how it's REALLY done!

The "Booty Shake"
Shake what your mama gave ya! (Only if your school permits this kind of dance, that is.) This dance is pretty self-explanatory. Recognizable by the movement of the gluteus maximus in time with whatever song is playing, this dance is commonly associated with the "Grind Line."

If none of the above dances appeal to you, you may be...

The Depressed Dateless Type
When the DJ plays "Two is Better Than One," do you sit in the corner and weep? If this is you, I recommend working on your social skills. Or just dream of your favorite literary character and pretend to be dancing with him/her.

The Person Who Stands by the Snack Bar All Night. . .
Hey you! Put those flavor-blasted Goldfish down and get out on the dance floor!  Unless you have never eaten in your life (which I assume is impossible) then I ASSURE you that you will survive and there will be more chances for you to indulge in your favorite trans-fat-filled delicacy. Get out there and dance!

Which dance do you do?

Related Post: The 5 Types of School Dance Dances

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