The Rise and Fall of a Garage Band

Ever thought about joining a band? You should know what you're in for. This is what will happen.

1. You like to play guitar. People say you're good at it.
2. You meet (a) a bass-player and (b) a drummer. Actually, they're already your friends.
3. One afternoon, one of them says, "We should totally start a band." The other says: "Right? We totally should!"
4. You ask your parents to move the car out of the garage "for one night" so you can rehearse. They never park in the garage again.
5. For lyrics, you use the poetry you wrote after a really bad breakup. You strum for hours, drinking soda, while your bandmates also strum and tap and drink soda.
6. After weeks of hanging out in the garage, you say: "Hey, guys, what about this?" You play chords that actually sound pretty good together. Your friends say: "Wow, man, where did that come from?" You say: "I don't know, it just sorta came to me."
7. Now you officially have one completed song.
8. You start dropping hints to everybody you know that you are "in a band." Friends nod soberly. "I didn't know you were in a band," they say. "That's awesome."
9. Somehow, you are booked to play at prom. You have no idea how this happened. You have never even played in public. You only have one song, for crying out loud!
10. You breathe into a paper bag until the panic subsides.
11. You inform your bandmates, who pale with terror. Now the pressure's on. You must perform this concert.
12. Someone (the drummer or bass player, it doesn't matter which), always has something else to do. It might be a job. It might be homework. It might be a boy/girlfriend. But every time you try to practice, your bandmate just doesn't seem "into it."
13. You get into a really passive-aggressive argument about it. Your bandmate gets angry and storms off. "I'm outta here," s/he says, slamming the garage's side door.
14. When people ask about the band, you cite "creative differences."
15. You realize your awesome new song is actually just a slightly re-hashed Weezer melody. Even some of the lyrics are the same.
16. You cancel your debut at prom. You just "aren't ready yet."
17. Your surviving bandmate joins another band. "We're not breaking up," your newly ex-band mate tells you. "I just want to try a new direction." You claim to understand, insisting that "it's cool."
18. You tell people you're "going solo for awhile."
19. You play an acoustic set at a cafe open mic. Your friends love it.
20. Your ex-bandmates hear about the great show and want to work with you again. "We should get the old band back together," they say, trying not to sound too excited about it.
21. The cycle starts anew.

What's the name of your imaginary band?

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