The Recipe For a Bestselling Teen Fantasy Novel

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Anyone who's read YA fantasy novels knows that many follow the same basic plot and include the same key points and themes. The only elements that really change are the characters’ names and the mythical creatures.

And so, careful deliberation and hours of painstaking research has led me to create *drum roll* The Recipe For a Bestselling Teen Fantasy Novel:

1. Take one (1) average-looking high school girl; combine with shyness to form the protagonist.
Use first-person narration and pepper with teen angst (it’s not a teen fantasy novel without it). Make sure your heroine is incredibly awkward, yet admired by pretty much every guy at the school (and consequently, none of the girls).

2. Throw in one (1) ridiculously handsome and enigmatic new guy.
Stir in swooning girls, but make sure to leave out protagonist. Like clockwork, he’ll ignore everyone but the girl (who happens to have particularly yummy-smelling blood), who’ll do a pathetic job at playing hard to get. Add pages and pages of descriptions of his "sculpted" cheekbones.

3. Sprinkle with suspicion.
The girl will undoubtedly notice strange things about the boy, whether it be his uneasiness when asked about his past, or the fact that once a month he sprouts fur and howls at the moon. He’ll have made up a reasonable explanation for both, naturally. ("I forgot to shave," and "I was cursing myself for it in a secret Slavic language.")

4. In a separate bowl, whip some internet research.
I don’t know what search engine Miss Bella was using in Twilight, but plain ol’ Google does not show me news articles from 4573857478 years ago, with pictures of an ageless New Guy. Not that I’ve tried.

5. Beat confrontation and imminent danger until stiff white peaks form.
The girl will accuse guy. Guy will admit that he’s a fairy/angel/werewolf/vamp. Girl will have no problem whatsoever with this. Then Bad Guy (a fellow fairy/angel/werewolf/vamp, obviously) will come to town and try to kill/kidnap/convert Girl into a F/An/We/Va for some reason. Guy will save day.

6. Bake until golden brown and enjoy (for eternity).
Girl’s mother: My, you’ve got a lot of blood on you.
Girl: F/An/We/Va battle. *shrugs* What can you do?
*Guy knocks at door*
Mother: Who’s that?
Girl: Oh that’s Guy. He’s taking me out to perform a conversion ritual.
Mother: Be back by eleven, kay?
Girl: Actually, I don’t think I’ll ever be allowed back. We’ve got this Edward and Bella thing going on, and he doesn’t like me being around other people.
Mother: Okay then. See you ‘round.

Have you ever tried to write a fantasy novel or story? What was it about?

Related Post: Sparkler-Recommended Fantasy Novels

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