We think dumbledore21 is the next Chelsea_Dagger (but Chelsea_Dagger can still be Chelsea_Dagger, too). Do you agree? —SparkNotes editors
So, you know your crush is bad for you, or s/he's going out with someone else, and you know you have to give up and move on with your life, but NO! That person just has to be too cute, and just so incredibly PERFECT, that forgetting about them is almost out of the question.
Almost.
Here are some tips for learning to forget your crush, and a few for continuing to live with the crush, but in style:
1) Find a new crush. This method is easiest, and most effective. (God, I sound like someone from Grey’s Anatomy.)
2) Convince yourself that your lifelong dream is to be an old granny with three billion cats. Even guys can be grannies, with a little surgery… (Nuns are cool, too. My mom works with them. One time, I spent the day with one of them, and…well, that’s a story for another time.)
3) Pull a Taylor Swift. This is simple: Get long, curly, blond hair and dorky glasses. Then, hold up huge sketch pads to your crush’s window and sing about how his slutty, horrible cheerleader girlfriend is not right for him and how YOU! ARE! PERFECT! FOR! HIM! AND! HE! BELONGS! WITH! YOU! Then, prom, white dress, look super hot, and BAM! Instant boyfriend. This doesn’t really work for guys, though.
4) Become a supermodel and make your crush super jealous.
5) Find all of his/her flaws, write them down, and post them EVERYWHERE. (Bedroom ceiling, locker, crush’s forehead…)
6) Watch New Moon 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times and focus ONLY on Taylor Lautner’s hotness and 8-pack.
7) Watch Harry Potter (all of them) 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,001 times and focus on how awesome Dumbledore is. (See what I did there? Oh, I know I’m awesome, you don’t have to tell me that!)
8) Pet your cat like an evil mastermind. Pretend you're coming up with an evil scheme to severely injure your crush, even though you're really thinking about how to sneak a computer into school so you can check SparkNotes.
9) Listen to very sad music.
10) Yank out your tear ducts like Sue did in Glee so you can’t cry anymore.
11) Convince your crush’s BF/GF that Paraguay is a really nice place to live and that moving there is the best possible option for him/her.
12) Go out with someone else.
13) Do not, I repeat DO NOT read Auntie Sparknotes’s Guide to Flirting with your crush in mind. Just don’t. It’ll make things worse.
14) Also, do not watch Say Yes to the Dress with your crush in mind, either.
15) Die. (Not necessarily the best option.)
Any other suggestions?
Related Post: Should You Cross the Crush Line?
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By: Contributor
Topics: Guides
Tags: crushes, love, ridiculous things
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