After Edward Cullen: Suggested Roles for R-Patz

Attention, Robert Pattinson fans: If you've been suffering from R-Patz withdrawal in the long, lonely months between Twilight film installments, your SparkNotes editors would like to direct you to the item below. It is the synopsis of a film currently in production, a Victorian literary drama titled Bel Ami. And while late 19th century period drama may not be your thing, per se, this particular movie brings some titillating news about our favorite caterpillar-browed hunk of British man-meat. To wit:

Based on the novel by Guy de Maupassant, Bel Ami is the story of Georges Duroy (Robert Pattinson), who travels through 1890s Paris, from cockroach ridden garrets to opulent salons, using his wits and powers of seduction to rise from poverty to wealth, from a prostitute’s embrace to passionate trysts with wealthy beauties, in a world where politics and media jostle for influence, where sex is power and celebrity an obsession.

Did you hear that, y'all? A movie. With Robert Pattinson. In VICTORIAN GARB.

Go on, you can scream a little. (Lord knows we did.)

The movie started filming this week, which means that R-Patz is probably shirtlessly seducing some be-corseted Hollywood wench right this minute, and which also means that photos of the actor in a waistcoat and top hat should be flooding the internet fairly soon... and before we start drooling all over our shoes, let's just sum up by saying that your lady editors have no problem with that at all. There's just something about a sharply dressed Victorian man that sets our little hearts aflame.

And as long as Robert Pattinson is moving on professionally and making lit-based movies that don't involve a costume of all-over body glitter and constant, tortured frowns, we've got a few more sartorially interesting roles we'd like to suggest for his next project:

Wuthering Heights (Heathcliff)
More waistcoats and top hats? Yes, please. More smoldering fury and emo heartbreak? Yes, PLEASE.

The Legend of King Arthur (Lancelot)
We'd like to see R-Patz unsheath his sword, if you know what we're saying. (What? We have a thing for medieval weaponry!)

Lord of the Flies (Ralph)
Robert might be a little bit old to pass for a 12-year-old schoolboy, but in the interest of seeing him running around in a loincloth, we'll let it slide.

Any Superhero Movie (Anyone Wearing a Skintight Spandex Bodysuit)
The perfect superhero movie for us is one that features R-Patz performing incredible physical feats with his bod fimly ensconced in the loving caress of a brightly-colored spandex catsuit.

Moby Dick (Moby Dick)
Because whales do not wear clothes.

Got your own role to suggest for Robert? You know what to do.

Related post: OMG! Robert Pattinson Was Hit By a Car!