Put mildly, braces are awful. They look odd. They rake against your lips. Food gets stuck in the wires. If you have uneven teeth, you probably shudder at the word "orthodontist."
But braces aren't as bad as, say, getting mauled by tigers. And before you disagree, consider the reasons you may prefer braces over giant feline claws ripping you to shreds:
1. You probably wouldn't survive a tiger-mauling. Teenagers routinely live through braces.
2. Even if you did survive a tiger-mauling, you would be disfigured for life. Braces make you look better.
3. Tigers trade in stealth and surprise. You'll have no warning that a striped carnivore is about to leap out of the rain forest and disembowel you. The orthodontist reminds you of your next appointment every month, so you have plenty of time to prepare.
4. Orthodontists ask you how you're doing in school, which can be awkward, especially when your mouth is being held open by some giant metal mouth-opening device. But ravenous tigers always seem too busy ripping you apart to ask how you're doing.
5. It's always a pain strapping on your rubber bands, or affixing headgear, or carrying your retainer everywhere. Oh, we know how frustrating all these things can be. But it's more convenient to have limbs.
6. Like glasses, braces can make you feel a little dorky. This can be tough on your social life. Then again, getting mauled by tigers may ruin your social life completely.
7. Your orthodontist is a licensed professional with an advanced degree. Tigers have no degrees at all. Not even Siberian tigers.
8. Your parents love and support you, and they just want to make sure you have top-notch dental care. Tigers don't care about your teeth, like, at all.
9. You will feel great when the braces come off. You will not feel great when the mauling by tigers is over.
Just sayin'.
Braces aren't as bad as getting mauled by a tiger, but they are as bad as ________.
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