Breaking Up? Don't Be Like Bella.

Sparkler MadamePresident7 explores the dark sides of Valentine's Day: breakups and Edward. —SparkNotes eds

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and was, as you can imagine, feeling really down. My younger sister felt sorry for me, so she handed me her copy of New Moon and said: "Bella feels the same way you do when Edward leaves." But while I was reading, I realized that Bella deals with her breakup in completely the opposite way that she should. Here are some lessons I learned from her mistakes.

1. You need your friends
When Edward left, Bella isolated herself. She wouldn't talk to her friends, which is just stupid. She should have gone over to Angela's house. Angela would have produced a gallon of chocolate ice cream and called up Jessica, and the three of them would have spent the night watching reality TV and bashing Edward. Hearing your girlfriends call your ex a douche is one of the most healing things you will ever experience short of getting your appendix removed.

2. Angry music helps
Bella refused to listen to music until Edward came back, when she could have gotten over him so quickly if she'd loaded a couple of angry songs on her iPod. Sure, you don't want to listen to a song like You and Me by Lifehouse, but there's just as much music about breaking up as there is about getting together. Over You by Daughtry and Goodbye by Kristina DeBarge are two wonderful songs that, when blasted in your car, will make you feel better.

3. "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair"
Here's one thing Bella did right: she took the things that reminded her of Edward and destroyed them. Remember the stereo she took out by herself? The broken CDs that Charlie found in the garbage? I bet she probably burned that blue blouse that she wore in Port Angeles, too. We're all sure that if Edward hadn't taken the pictures out of her house, she would have spent months crying over them, but we have to give her props for getting rid of the other things.

4. Flirt a little
I don't care if the guy you just broke up with is your soulmate; you won't move on until you discover that other people like you. So get out there and flirt! What Bella doesn't get is that she can go on a date with Mike or Connor or Tyler or Eric without being committed to them for the rest of eternity. Maybe if she hung out with some other guys (or girls...or humans, for that matter) she would realize just how wrong Edward is for her.

So next time you're going through a breakup, do exactly the opposite of what Bella does and you'll be perfectly fine by the time your Jacob comes along.

Do you love MadamePresident's advice as much as we do?

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