How to Get Rid of the Hiccups

Thanks, abby0912, for this helpful guide. We hate hiccups! —SparkNotes editors

Hiccups can be so annoying, maddening, and debilitating that lots of stories have used them as the primary predicament for the protagonist. Hiccups were the conflict in an episode of Johnny Bravo, the Cartoon Network show. They starred in the short story "Stupid Marco," in which the not-so-bright Prince Marco has only three talents—one of which is curing hiccups. And remember that episode on the Disney show Phineas and Ferb when Isabella had the hiccups and it was up to Phineas and Ferb to scare them out of her—leading to her spending a whole day with Phineas (her love)? Hiccups are everywhere, and this is my list for ways to cure them.

1. Drink Water
The most common method. Effective 75% of the time.
Advantages: simple and quick, can be substituted with drinking other liquids (Note: saliva does not work)
Disadvantages: requires said person to be near (hiccup) a liquid source (hiccup)...

2. Drink Water Backwards
This is a little known method that is effective 83% of the time. What you do is bend over with a cup of water in your hand and bend your arm so that the cup is underneath your chin. Slowly lean forward, tuck your head downwards, and tip the cup into your mouth (so you're tilting the cup forward).
Advantages: it's pretty effective :)
Disadvantages: again, one needs to be near a water source. Also, it looks awkward to observers, and it feels awkward, too. There's also the potential for spillage.

3. Put Sugar on your Tongue
This method is about 60% effective. You only need to sprinkle a little sugar on the tip of your tongue and wait while the sugar slowly dissolves.
Advantages: it tastes good :)
Disadvantages: one needs to have sugar available and it may lead to an overindulgence of sugar (“I have the hiccups! **fake and overdramatic hiccup** Give me the sugar!!!!”)

4. Hold Your Breath
This is another common method used when one does not have water, sugar, etc. available. It is only 35% effective, however, and often just causes headaches and (hiccup) frustration.
Advantages: doesn't require the use of anything other than yourself
Disadvantages: not very effective and leads to rants like this…
“(counting under your breath) (hiccup) 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8…9…10… YES! THEY’RE GONE! I’VE DONE (hiccup) it...”

5. Scare the Heck Out of Yourself (or have someone do it for you)
This is only 20% effective if you have someone scare you, and 0.9% effective if you scare (hiccup) yourself. (I mean seriously, how do you scare yourself?)
Advantages: does not require the use of anything other than you/someone else
Disadvantages: hardly ever works, causes the heebie-jeebies

6. Blow Cold Air Out
A little-known method I heard about it recently. Basically, you just blow like you're trying to cool off food. Too bad (hiccup) it’s only 5% effective.
Advantages: only requires you, and it's really easy to do!
Disadvantages: low (hiccup) effectiveness rate

7. Put a Paper Bag Over Your Head
Somehow this method sounds like a excuse to humiliate someone who's already embarrassed about her hiccups. It was probably invented during an odd game of Truth or Dare. I’ve heard it has a 1% effectiveness rate, but it probably only worked because the hiccups were destroyed by an ultra-secret method that will be described at the end of this post.
Advantages: It's… interesting? (draw a face on the bag to make it more fun!)
Disadvantages: requires you to be carrying a paper bag, hardly ever works, is weird and shameful

8. Imagine a White Horse Running Across a Field
This has seriously been a suggested method. So far, I believe it has a 0% effectiveness rate. But if the above methods haven’t done it for you, why not close your eyes and give this method a try!?
Advantages: Fun. Only requires you and your imagination
Disadvantages: never ever ever ever has worked

And that about sums it up. If you ever have those annoying hiccups, try a few of these great methods!

If all else fails, there is one ultra-secret method that works 99% OF THE TIME.

9. Don’t Do Anything
Yeah, that’s right. It is completely okay to ignore your hiccups and engage yourself in another activity rather than searching for cures. In fact, this will stop your hiccuping 99% of the time. Unless, of course, you’ve gotten an extremely rare disease where the hiccups never stop, called chronic hiccups. In that case, go consult a doctor. But in 99% of all cases, just do some homework, watch TV, play outside, surf the web, read a book… You’ll think of other more important things and gradually your hiccups will cease to exist. You may not even realize this! Yep, those hiccups will die from lack of attention.
Advantages: works most of the time
Disadvantages: it may be difficult to ignore those hiccups... they are SO annoying!

How do you get rid of the hiccups?

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