Blogging the State of the Union

YES! Sparkler camip0p (live) blogged the State of the Union Address for us! And she did an amazing job! So so so so awesome.  —SparkNotes editors

It's important to know what is going on in our country, Sparklers. How else would you understand Seth Meyers on SNL? Because it's important, I've decided to live-blog the State of the Union Address!

8:51 p.m. People mill about. I could be watching Jersey Shore on Hulu.

8:53 p.m. Someone says "Madame Speaker, somethingsomethingsomething." That is Nancy Pelosi! People clap. She's wearing a brown thing.

8:54 p.m. Wait. Is that Nancy Pelosi?? I am confused.

8:55 p.m. Nope. Nancy Pelosi is wearing purple.

8:56 p.m. ENTER: MICHELLE OBAMA. People clap. A lot. Clap clap clap. And then everyone goes mysteriously quiet. It's because Michelle Obama and Nancy Pelosi are wearing the same color! Bad form, stylists.

8:58 p.m. The Cabinet enters.

9 p.m. I run quickly to get a snack. Am afraid I missed something. Nope. People are still milling around, although I can no longer see the Nancy Pelosi Who Wasn't person.

9:02 p.m. Everyone is wearing black except for a handful of cheery people. I bet their states are the most fun. QUICK! Check what color your representative wore!

9:06 p.m. THE PRESIDENT IS ANNOUNCED. OMG!

9:07 p.m. Mostly everyone is standing up and cheering for Obama... Clap clap clap clap.

9:09 p.m. My brother comes into the room. He says, "How long are they going to keep clapping?" Until he gives an encore, apparently. Obama is a rock star.

9:10 p.m. Obama is "presented" by Nancy Pelosi. More clapping.

9:11 p.m. Obama says, "Thank you, thank you very much!" Told you. He's Elvis.

9:13 p.m. Obama mentions prosperity, certainty and Black Tuesday. How much do you wanna bet he'll be talking about the economy first?

9:17 p.m. "It begins with our economy..." Told you.

9:18 - 9:23 p.m. Obama talks about the economy. Highlights: "One thing that unifies us...We all hated the bank bailout...It was about as popular as a root canal...but I promised myself I wouldn't do what was popular, I'd do what was necessary."

"We made the program more transparent and accountable and have recovered most of the money we spent on the banks...most but not all. To recover the rest, I propose a fee on the biggest banks...Wall Street is not keen on this...but if they can afford to pay big bonuses, they can afford to pay back the taxpayers that took care of them in their time of need."

"We cut taxes for 95 percent of working families...for eight million Americans paying for college."

"We can't afford a so-called economic expansion like the one in the last decade."

Obama then says, "I do not accept second place for the United States of America." Everyone claps. Some people are sitting passive-aggressively.

9:34 p.m. Obama says, "We need to invest in American innovation." Especially energy! Clean nuclear power plants and such.

9:40 p.m. Here's what Obama has to say about fixing the school system: "Instead of rewarding failure, we only reward success. Instead of funding the status quo, we fund only reform."

"High school diplomas are not enough...I urge the Senate to follow the house in a bill to reform our community colleges."

"One million college students will be required to pay only 10 percent back of income on loans," and be forgiven after 20 years, 10 if they choose to be a public servant.

9:44 p.m. On healthcare: "Let's clear a few things up. I didn't choose to take on this issue to get some Legislative triumph under my belt."

9:48 p.m. "Don't walk away from reform. Let's get it done."

9:56 p.m. "Let's try common sense...a novel concept." Thank you. Finally!

"We need to end the credibility gap. To end the influence of lobbyists..." Thank you! Finally!

9:58 p.m. Someone on Twitter just said, "Someone glue Nancy Pelosi to her seat." Thank you. FINALLY!

10:06 p.m. "We will support the Iraqi government... But make no mistake, this war is ending."

10:09 p.m. Main things have already been talked about. Now I'm just counting the number of times Nancy Pelosi gets out of her chair. I think we're at 3,007.

10:14 p.m. We have to concentrate on "our broken immigration system."

10:14 and 30 seconds p.m. "In the end, it's our ideas, our values that built America."

10:20 p.m. AAAAND it's done! Well. Everyone claps again. ("ENCORE! ENCORE!") I wonder if people who shook Obama's hand earlier feel different shaking it now.

Did you watch the address?