How to Stage a Nerd Takeover

Wait, since when are there nerds on this site? Whhhhat?! We're shocked. We're horrified. We're...kidding. Nice work, peaceonearth34! —SparkNotes editors

As sad as it is, we all know it's true: In the majority of schools around the world, nerds are shunned and rejected. It doesn't matter that we are the reason humans no longer live in caves and aren't still trying to discover fire. It doesn't matter that we create all of the luxuries that people take for granted. The way the world seems to see it, nerds are losers.

But wait!!!

It doesn't have to be this way. It's time for rebellion! Nerds are slowly taking over their schools, changing the social structure a little at a time. We're smart enough, we're awesome enough, and we have the willpower to do it. Step by step, here's how to stage a Nerd Takeover of your school:

Step 1: Control the media.
It's an age-old fact—those who control the media control the world. So naturally, this is where to start. Take it slowly; move too fast and the nerd-haters will figure out what you're up to. Start with your yearbook. Infiltrate the yearbook staff and put a few nerd-positive quotes around the pages. At my school, we got a nerd-positive quote right on the sports page! Go to your school news show, radio program, or newspaper, if they have one. Teach the student body to embrace nerdiness.

Step 2: Make nerd culture look appealing—to everyone.
This part is a little difficult. Make sure people don't have to step too far out of their comfort zones. Show the cheerleaders the latest in high tech outfits. Show the jocks the best training simulators. There is something nerdy related to pretty much every clique (bleuggchh) in the school. Use that to your advantage. Step 2 should be like the subtle movement of an hour hand on a clock—you don't realize it's moving, but before you know it, it's turned halfway around the dial.

Step 3: Bust the myths.
One of the things that ties down nerds is the myths about them. People think nerds are vitamin-deprived, zit-covered social phobics who do nothing but hunch over their computers all day and protect their pens. Of course, we know this is not true. Use your media advantage (see step 1) to raise the nerd to celebrity status. Let your peers know that people like Natalie Portman and Will Smith are accomplished nerds. Soon, "nerd" will be the term everyone is dying to identify with.

When should the nerd takeover start? Pi day?

Related Post: It's...It's...It's a NERD?!

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